A Future Alone

My boyfriend and I have been together 3+ years. He is battling Ewing's Sarcoma of the spine for the third time, this time the prognosis is not good. He is terminal. He is 22. I am 20. We live together in a small studio apartment with our two cats. I am his sole caregiver, while I try to take on a part time job and be a full time student. Because his cancer is so rare, the doctors do not know how much time he has left. It's hard for me to plan a life with him, knowing that there is no future with him, but it's hard to plan my future without him, because it would hurt his feelings. As much love as there is in our relationship, not much is often shown. We are unable to be intimate. I have to do all the chores, shopping, cooking, and taking care of everything. Frankly, I'm tired. I want to be a normal 20 year old with all my college friends, but I can't because I am burdened with too much responsibility. Part of me just wants this to all be over with, but the other part of me if very scared of what is to come, and how much time my boyfriend and I have together.