It looks like i am the first here but i hope someone will read this and feel some support.
My mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer in Sept 2006. I chose to become her full time carer and of course set about researching her illness on the web despite her diagnosis and treatment options because i wanted her to live if not forever then obviously the longest time possible for her with treatment.
My mum complained of stomach pain in August 2006. Her Gp sent off for tests but in Sept 2006 she was rushed to hospital by ambulance with severe stomach pains. We were told that day that my mum had a blockage in her bowel and she was rushed to surgery. We were told a couple of hours later it was a tumour which they had removed but she was very poorly. I had a phone call from my mum the next morning to say it had spread to her liver. They had not waited 1 hour till visiting time to give this news to my mum and she was distraught.
The oncologist told my mum that she could have chaemotherapy but it would be in the form of a pump attached to her at all times which would make her very poorly. It may add 3 months to her life expectancy with the pump . Without it she was looking at amaximum of 12 months. my mum decided to go without treatment and feel well for a few months and make the most of her time left.
I persuaded her while she was well to fly to new york to see a top cancer specialist who reaffirmed her diagnosis but it was hard for me to be strong for her and not see a light at the end of the tunnel.
After this my mum decided to stay in her room and switch off from every day life. She was not miserable but some how set apart as though she was waiting for it to happen. It took 6 months. i was with her every day and night monitiring her medication and trying to keep her positive and unafraid. The one thing she said was whatever happened she did not want to go into hospital and so she stayed at home until the end while i monitored her medication.
When she could no longer take tablets orally i spoke to her about having a morphine pump fitted which she was hesitant about because she allways wanted to be in control until the end. She reached a point 48 hours before she died where she was still peaceful but trusted me enough to relax and let me do what was best. In the last 12 hours the pain had increased and i had called a gp to administer a higher dose of morphine at my request. The gp said to me that it would probably send my mum into coma and death but she was so close to it and in pain that i told her to do it. My mum had been in pain and when i explained to her that we were giving her something to ease the pain she took my hand and squeezed it and said thank you you are so good to me thank you. She never spoke again. For the next 12 hours she slept soundly and then her breath began to change. I sat on the bed and held her untill she passed peacefully.