Right Guy, Wrong Time

I was single for about 11 months because i just never found the right guy, no one really ever caught my attention until this amazing guy came into my life (R) and he is the only guy who really ever proved himself to me and made time to see me and then after a while of talking and hanging out he made it official then one day when we were hanging out my parents come home and i could tell they knew something was up between us so i asked him maybe its' time we tell them about us they've only met him once before but they seemed to like him and he was well-mannered and soo we both went up to them and my boyfriend asked them if he could speak to them about something and they both turned around and looked at us and he asked them for permission to be my boyfriend and after an hour of my parents lecturing us and what not they said yes and approved and everything was good from there he went over daily , came to see me afters school then he'd go over my house when my mom was home cuz that was the rule and one day my mom was just saying that he's not good enough for me and my parents are really old fashioned they were raised differently back in there time in Mexico so they had a different perspective on the whole dating thing. my dad was really calm about everything but whatever my mom said he would always agree which still frustrates me so i asked her what did he do to you? why don't you like him? and she stayed quiet she told me she doesn't have to explain anything to me and from the things she told me she basically doesn't like him because he doesn't have a car anymore and got laid off but she doesn't know he's been applying for jobs and he got a job offer and he has goals he plans to achieve, she's just really materialistic and judges to quick and never got to know him. so one night he came over to see me and my parents didn't know he was here so then next thing i know my mom comes down to my room and she sees him there and so from there we were screwed and what made it worse is my dad came barging in and beat my boyfriend to the corner and started pounding on his face and made his nose bleed and called the cops on him. once the cops came they just wrote a report, they didn't press any charges on him because he didn't do any criminal activity & + i was the one who let him in. my boyfriend could've pressed charges on my dad but he didn't. and after they left my parents were screaming at me forbidding me to see him saying all this crap and so that hurt a lot because he's a really good guy, the best i've ever had and the thing that amazed me was that he still wanted to be with me and make it work, he said it'll be hard but we'll make it and to this day we're still together. it just hurts to know that i have to sneak around to see him or anything idk how to deal with my parents whenever they bring him up just to talk bad about him what do i do..
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 18, 2013

First of all remember that your parents are doing what they think is best for you. Clearly they've gone about it in an ugly way and it will be very hard to get to a situation where you can all exist together happily again.

I don't want to patronise you by asking how old you are but if there's a guy in your room and you are still in school and the guy is older most Dads would react badly. It's important to forgive your Dad because turning it in to a battle will only make him resent your boyfriend more. Talk it out with them and explain that even if your boyfriend turns out to be a mistake, that's your mistake to make and part of growing up. They have to let you make decisions, of course they should give you advice and you should listen to it, but ultimately as long as you're being sensible you should be given a chance to find your own way in the world.

If this guy is a good one he'll be willing to go back to following any reasonable rules your parents have for you and hopefully he is a good one.

Best of luck to you.

N.B. If you are under the age of 14 ignore all of the above - your parents do know best!