I'm In Love With My Cousin (our Family Would Be Angry If They Found Out!)

I've loved my cousin (let's call him R) since I was 13. It's a great but sad love... I haven't told my family about it since they're publicly anti-****** and the adult men are anti-gay. My cousin is 18, and I'm 16. But I believe age doesn't matter, as long as we love each other.
The sad part is, some of my other cousins (I grew up around them, and we were a close set of kids since I'm an only child so they were the brother figures I have) used to pick on me when I was young since they thought I was gay, since I was extremely not aggressive and so masculine like they were and are.
One of the cousins who picked on me then was R, and I'm proud to say he doesn't anymore--he and all my cousins have since apologized to me for the hurt they caused me and are very accepting of me now.

I recently also came out the closet to R via text. The one part I left out though was that I don't label myself.... I didn't think it was right to say that. I also asked him in the same conversation if he was ever bicurious, and ever open to experimenting with guys his age when he was in high school. He said yes but he wasn't open to it.
Which sucks though.... him exp'ing would make a great story he could tell me when our family isn't around lol.

The worst part about this is, he has a girlfriend and has just recently started dating again.
Plus, he's into women; he told my mom a few weeks ago that he "likes women with sexy bodies" and gave Kim Kardashian as an example.
He even told me once to never date only one person (until things get serious) too, which I'm starting to think is good advice.

I'm just wishing my cousin R and I could date, and I could possibly have my first time with him!
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 20, 2013