I Love Someone, But I'm Not Allowed to
When I'm out just hanging out with my friends or just shopping with my sister, I sometimes notice couples just holding hands, showing PDA everywhere, publicly kissing each other and so on and so forth. I know that sometimes these couples kind of get carried away and end up making love on the public park.. Ok now in my opinion that's a bit far for PDA. But what I do admire about these couples is how they don't mind displaying there love for each other. It's kind of cute when you think about it.
In my past relationships it's always been hard for me to display my affection. Because I'm always afraid that someone who knows me will see me or someone who knows him will see us. In My mind I told myself "If you love someone, just go right out and show it. Because who Knows? They might not be with you forever." But my body says.."What are you doing???"
There's something different about the realtionship that I'm in right now.. Something that I feel strongly for. In my current relationship I don't care whether people see me with him or not. I just love the guy so much that I really don't care what people think of us. Sure. we maybe two different class people. But in my mind I say "Who gives?" He's your typical major football pla
A major part that's holding me back from this perfect relationship is my parents. I guess you could say that I'm living a sort of a Romeo and Juliet story. I wish it wasn't so... I don't see what my parents see in the man that I love. What they see in him is hatred, loathing and disgust. If only... if only.. they would understand.
One night I got into an argument with my parents about him. One night they threaten to kick me out.. One night I planned to run away.. One night I wanted to leave my whole past behind so that I could have a happy future and spend the rest of my life with him.. One night I wanted to die. (now that I think about it, that was pretty stupid idea. To ever want such a thing for myself would be selfish to the people I love. especially him)
My mother finally called my lover's mother. And she told her that her son should stay away from me. His mother understood the message.. and forbid him to ever see me again. I remember breaking up in tears. My whole guard let down.. During the argument before this event occured I stood by my lover's side and fought to be with him. But after the "call" My wall came crashing down.. I finally ended up faking myself and told them that I would never see him again.. well... that end up being a lie. I wish I could just be who I am. . I wish I didn't have to hide my true feelings.. I wish that I could love anyone that I want. I wish I could be who I want to be and do the things I want to do. "Is that too much to ask for??"
I don't know why but for some weird reason.. the arguement made me fall in more love with my lover. I came to me that I would abosolutly do anything for him.. Something I've never ever thought about for anyone.
Is it wrong to love?
