I Always Want What I Cant Have...

I love you so much that it hurts me to think we wont ever be. You see I have these visions... up in my head, I lay down in bed and the thoughts race through. I close my eyes and I envision how things could be between me and you. Your my best friend, I don't ever want us to end.

In all honesty, you scare the hell out of me. I'm not one who feels, that's why this is such a big deal because now this is all becoming so real. I ******* hate what you have done to me... the way you have altered my thoughts and the way I perceive my emotions. This isnt supposed to happen to me. I'm not meant to be close to others, I'm not meant to feel the way I feel towards you... especially not considering your..your.. well you. I didnt expect this. I still dont want to accept any of this. I want this all to end, I've tried my hardest to crush these feelings, these thoughts into the ground. But yet their standing up, stronger then my own being.

I'm seeing myself now. Usually I stare right through the glazed over appearance but you've seemed to fix my vision as well because now I'm seeing the truth. Seeing that their is more to me then a pill that I need to fill myself. To satisfy the hunger within... the pill is no longer my one and only. Now i'm beginning to rely on you. I need the pill still, jus to live. As well as you jus to keep my depression from over taking me. To keep myself up. Now, without you. My depression is on the hunt... when you arent around im on the run. Terrified. Hiding from the darkness, outrunning the demon that is always following close behind.
Yourmydevilwithin Yourmydevilwithin
18-21
1 Response Nov 27, 2012

That was awesome, I hear ya