I Can't Love Him Anymore

It all started in the eighth grade. I was in eighth grade he was a highschool freshman. Not my first boyfriend but one very important one. His sister was my bestfriend. We dated for only 3 months! But we spent every day together, inseperable. So now its about 5 years later. We both dated around, him more than me. But we always got back to talking. He's always been someone I could fall on, I guess I could say he knows me better than anyone else out there. My parents hate him, literally, hate him. Why? i haven't the slightest idea. We've always kept in touch no matter who we were with or what we had going on. My parents slowly began to trust him more, they approved more on us being friends. We would date behind their backs. I was too afraid to tell them, he didn't like that. Once I would tell my parents we were talking, he'd disappear again. I had to hold my toungue and be careful how much i told my family. He said he loved me but the when he's running off with other girls I find it really hard to believe. Nobody understands why I still let him call more or text me. He's been a bad kid since we broke up in eighth grade. In and out of juvie, fights, probation. Its not the lifestyle I would ever want. That's what I was careful and wouldnt let him in my life soo much. I never wrote him when he was locked up, I never answered his calls when he got out. He was too much drama. People say fight for what you love, i loved him but I'd never fight over a guy. There was always this one girl, other than me, whom he went back to. She wrote him, she answered his calls. They had soo much more history than us two. So why is he still calling me and trying to see me? and talk to me? We broke up a few times because i've found out he was with her, childish games. Im getting to old for this. They broke up, he said for good. She was with someone new and me and him were talking again. Until, i had to find out over Facebook that she was pregnant. From? Him? her boyfriend? who knows! She told him it was his, then ended up saying that she wasn't sure whose it was. It's rediculous!Just when he began doing good, had me in his life, wasn't in any trouble, had a job, his car, and getting off probation. There's no way of fixing that. He didn't talk to me for a week, then ended up texting me like everything was okay. Nope! I told him i don't have to be in that situation, i won't be in that situation. He keeps trying to explain that he wants me to be with him not the baby. That doesn't make any sense. How does he think that that will just fly with baby momma? I told him to leave me alone. He did for a while til' he called me a few days ago asking to talk. I said I guess and he showed up to my school. We talked for an hour, and for some reason he still thinks this is okay. He knows he messed up, and he's going to do what he has to, to take care of this baby, but he still wants to be with me and take care of me. I tell him don't worry about me, i'm grown and I do what I have to do, for him to just show up and still think we're going to end up being this happy family is crazy! I've decided I don't want that. But seeing him the other day made me realize, i miss this guy, he was good to me, and I love him, but I wont let myself be hurt like this. He obviously doesnt love me, when hes getting other girls pregnant. I understand things like this happen all the time. People date other people with kids, but not at my age, it's not smart, I have my whole life ahead of me, so what am I thinking? I love him, i will always care for this guy, but I will never be with him, again. Why won't he get it through his head that not all girls will be that stupid. I have a future, I feel bad for that other girl now, whether its his kid or not, she's the one having the baby. She's going to have to live with not knowing whose it really is, unless she gets a test done. Also she's a senior in highschool, thinking shes grown now. A baby having a baby.
Geligirli Geligirli
18-21, F
1 Response Oct 3, 2012

wow,your story is amazing and you are more in the clear about your life than people twice your age! keep telling yourself that you do not need to get cought up in somebodyelse' s mess and carry on with your future.
i wish one day my kids will grow up this wise...pls stay strong!