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I Love Him, But I Can'T Have Him.. =(

Okay well a here's the story... A few months ago I was hanging out with my boyfriend's brother and everything was normal. We met up later on that evening without my boyfriend being around....stuff started to get pretty tense and pretty sexual. I didn't understand what had come over me, I am pretty good friends with my boyfriend's brother, I've known him for over 3 years now. We ended up having sex and this has now happend on TOO MANY occasions... It's like all of a sudden now I'm totally inlove with my boyfriend's brother...and I feel like such a **** and I'm totally scared he will find out somewhere along the grapevine... I would pretty much say I am having a full blown affair with my boyfriends brother and the scary part is that my boyfriends brother has been telling me for over 4 months now that he loves me.... I am really scared and a little confused cause I really do love him and care about him just as much as my boyfriend... I know this is totally wrong and I don't understand what has come over me over these last few months... HELP! I need advice... I have been holding this in for quite some time, scared to talk about it but I can't stay quiet anymore, i need some help!!
Renny1992 Renny1992 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 26, 2013

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You can tell them the truth, but it will ruin the three of you no matter what. Imagine this--you tell them the truth, and you pick one of them. Whenever there's an argument, you know this event will be brought up over and over. It's time to walk away, and use this experience as a lesson.

Thank you for the advice. I know I need to come clean... it's going to be really hard though... his brother has tried too but my boyfriend won't believe him and i'm really scared of losing him which i know i probably will..... it would amaze me if he actually stayed cause we've been through a lot. i feel so ashamed and don't know why this happened now and not say like 3 years ago when I met him....=(

Things can get a lot worse so call it quits and walk away from both. Start fresh. What if you got pregnant? Then, things will really get complicated.

I've thought about that, and it's almost happened! I know I am way in the wrong here, I have to do this cause obviously I am not longer inlove with my boyfriend if I've been doing that right? Gahhh I hate love =(

You are basing your relationship on deceit, and it very dangerous. You will end bringing a very terrible rod of discord between brothers, if you don't come out clean. TELL THE TRUTH. By the look of things, you need to tell the truth. You must love one more than the other, just cut to the chase and stop toying with their emotions pls.

I know, his brother has told me i need to do something cause this can't keep going on, it's not fair to my boyfriend or him cause now I got his brother who's claiming he wants to be with me but i don't see how that would work if my boyfriend was too leave me. I know blood is thicker than water so i would think automatically if we were to start dating my boyfriend would probably disown both of us, thats just how he is he doesn't care if its family or not he would be mad at his brother also cause it takes two to love.... so its not entirely my fault but i do know i need to come clean. Thank you for your advice also, it was taken with great appreciation =)

Sometimes doing the right thing comes with a lot of negative consequences. But that doesn't make the right thing wrong. It only affirms it rightness. I know you will do the right thing. It was also hard for some of us, but we stuck to the right thing, disregarding the consequences. Even if your boyfriend is mad with his brother, time heals every injury. Time will definately heal his.
But let me pose this question here: since your sex experience with your boyfriend's brother, got both of you connected, are you sure that if you or him, find another partner, whose sexual experience is better, you both will not split?
We humans have the capacity to love, more than one person, but never at the same level. If this love between your boyfriend's brother and you picked up via sex, then, I don't mean to be hard, it is to be questioned. Sex is a minutes episode, but true love is a lifetime, of which sex is just an appendage. Cheers dear.