I Don't Want to Love Him Anymore

He isn't mine, he was for such a long time and in my mind of mind's he is. I have not felt that feeling of pure happiness since we went out separate ways.

I shouldn't love him because he's is someone elses. We've hurt her in the past and I would never ever want to do it again, but because I love him situations arise that if she ever found out it would break her heart.

I want to wake up tomorrow and be free if him, he haunts me, I let my feelings for him destroy my last relationship, sure it wasn't even fair of me to get with this new guy but I figured I could swap my love for the first guy with that for the new guy, but I fell for him on top. I was plagued by comparison the whole way through, everything from his kisses to the way he held my hand, it was different which made me unsure. I clung to him like a wet blanket for fear of being pushed away and in the end it got too much. And I was left doubley broken hearted.

I need to be over him and sort my life out, to sleep again, to enjoy going out, to see my friends and most of all to love again, someone who is worthy.

Anyone got a miracle cure? x

lulubelle12345 lulubelle12345
22-25, F
8 Responses Feb 6, 2007

If you are a Christian and believe in God and the Holy Spirit the only way that works is to ask Him sincerely to change your heart. You are halfway there. I know. I share your experience. What you are feeling about how you have hurt the wife shows how good your heart is. Now you are suffering for the sin of injustice and you should embrace the pain as God is cleansing you. Pain is natures way of telling us to stop. Find something on your list of desires that is good for all such as furthering your education,a hobby,volunteering, writing articles, fixing your home and watch it take shape. You will feel better about your accomplishments and as time goes on you will see your situation more clearly. You will realize that no desire for any human being can take the place of love for yourself and others. He will respect you. You will respect yourself. His memory of you in future will then be that of a strong and good woman who sacrificed her own needs for the good of others. You are very young. For you to feel guilt over hurting the wife at such a young age is rare and shows your goodness. You will be rewarded I promise. Try honey. And if you fail try again. We are not machines and the heart is a devastating entity. When you are tempted and you will be, think about the horror of watching another suffer the pain you are suffering now. Would you wish that on anyone? No. Our ability to suffer for someone else is the stuff saints are made of. You have that quality. How do I know? For 33 years I was with my married man. Not once did I think of the effect on his family. I admire and respect you. Now go forth, be strong, and pray. Your life is just beginning.

Wow, you sound like the woman who my ex-husband always ran to when we were married. When he would get mad at me or i should say, stage an argument so he could leave, he always ran to this one woman. She knew he was married but she felt "important" that she could lure what seemed to be a happy man. I grew so tired of her. She started calling me. They played this stupid game with each other. When she was mad at him, she would call me to let me know that if he has been acting funny lately, it was because of her. And of course, when he was mad at her, he was super sweet to me. When I left for good, she wanted nothing to do with him. She was supposedly getting married to someone else. After all that time, she was competing with me for my husband, but she had someone else. Now she will have to worry about what woman will do that to her when she is all nestled into her marriage. We all make mistakes and/or choose the wrong partner but when we know better, we should do better. I wish you the best!

There is no anesthetic for this pain. I know. I'm in the same boat. It helps to treat yourself to some TLC and relaxation. Understanding and telling yourself that eventually you would be the cause of a horrible painful situation to someone else can help. He may love you. We can't help whom we love. But real love means sacrifice and you must love very much to be so brave. May God give you peace.

No such cures exist, unfortunately. If they did I'd be the first one on it. Love isn't something that just goes away. We all wish we could switch it on and off but we have no such luck. The only thing I say is that you need to give it time and distance. Distance yourself from him and, in time, it'll get better. We sometimes feel like pain is unending but this will pass and you will come out of it okay.

I feel you... I thought I would never be free, that he was my only & no one could ever compare. But after time, I found out that I was wrong; that life was only meant to be with him then. Not now... be free, bird. You will be okay!

it is hard i love someone to i wish i didnt i dont know how you can stop,cause ive been trying to do same thing.

No cure here. I know a bit on how you feel. It's hard to hate or get over someone you love. No-matter who they are or what they've done. You got to 1st do the hardest thing and that is to forgive yourself. It is not your fault you fell in love with this guy but forgive yourself for starting a relationship with this guy. But it will be hard.

Amnesia might work for you. Are you into head injuries?