A Very Odd Couple

When I was 13 I naively entered into an online relationship with somebody who i beleived to be a 14 year old boy. 2 years later i found out that it was infact a gender confused girl, i was heartbroken and all contact ended. I found it so hard to begin with and was in denial, for one reason or another we got back into contact and over time i have forgiven her for lying and have found myself falling in love with her again. I'm not a lesbian and see her as a male as she does, I have realised that when it comes to true love it really doesn't matter what that person looks like or what gender they are. we are both nearly 18 now I have secretly met up with her on many occaisions and we speak on the phone every night, she has recently started treatment which will ultimately lead to her having gender reassignment surgery. The problem is both our parents forbid any contact with eachother, if my family found out how much i have betrayed them they would be so hurt and they mean so much to me. I try to make it more romantic by comparing our situation to romeo and juliet but sometimes it gets too difficult.  

getinvolved getinvolved
18-21, F
1 Response Apr 8, 2010

I'm so sorry for all your hurt, sweetie. Follow your heart, don't give up on him! You'll both be 18 soon and legally free to be with whomever you want. Remember, ultimately you will move away from your birth family and create your own family, who will be with you long after your birth family has passed. I understand not wanting to hurt your birth family: I didn't want to hurt mine either and this kept me from coming out to them as a lesbian for years. When I finally did, they were fine. This is not to say that your birth family will be fine: they may be, they may not be. What really counts is the love you have for each other, and the way YOU SEE YOURSELVES. If your partner identifies strongly as male, and is eventually going to have gender-reassignment surgery, then your partner is MALE, just born in the wrong body. Your partner is also an incredibly courageous person to be able to take charge of an issue of this magnitude at his age, and you both deserve to be treated with the utmost respect for taking on a challenge like this! Many people are born into the wrong gender body, and it certainly doesn't have to be the tragedy most people see it as. Nature made a mistake, that's all. There are many transgendered folks here on EP, and you might want to get in touch with some of them and get their take on your situation. If you'd like to keep in touch with me, PM me--I can't access your profile or messasge you because of your age, so you would need to contact me. I don't have any experience directly in what you're going through, but I can always be there as a shoulder to cry on, a cheering section, someone to vent at whrn you need--always with respect, understanding, and love.<br />
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Remember that, regardless of what people say, it IS POSSIBLE to find the love of your life when you're still very young!! I think adults who tell you different are just jealous, that's all: it takes most of us many, many years to find the one we truly love.<br />
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I wish you and your partner both all the best, and I hope to hear from you.<br />
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((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))