How Do You Deal With The Loneliness And Depression?

I have known my man for 4 years. We instantly hit it off when we first met. A year and a half later he asked me to marry him, and of course I said Yes! However, i knew he had a past and was on parole which I didn't care. I like to believe that I have helped him stay on the right track until now.

He was taken back to prison a few days ago and I feel completely broken. When we first met he was 2 months out of prison, so I have never had to deal with this before. We have dealt with many struggles in our relationship including money issues, family issues, and his stupidity for cheating on me with a woman who is knocked up to a married man already.

My biggest issue is how to handle this whole situation. As of right now, what I have heard is that he finally admitted he as an addiction to pain killers. Living with him for two years, I already knew this. I tried to talk to him about it and he would in turn flip out on me telling me to mind my own business. That guy who stood there screaming at me that day was not the same man I said I wanted to marry. He changed so much because of those pills. His actions and behaviors changed dramatically. He became secretive and pushed anyone who cared about him away. He asked for money from friends and family members to help support his addiction even tho they had no idea that they were supporting his habit.

Now i'm sitting here alone in our apartment with our cat who meows all day because her Daddy isn't here. I feel so depressed. I don't know what to do with myself. All my days consisted of us doing things together even as simple as having movie nights. I have isolated myself in my apartment because I just dont feel like moving, going anywhere. I can't even eat because food is not on my mind. I am slowly falling apart and I have no idea how to save myself right now.

I am hopefully going to be able to see my guy tomorrow. I am nervous. I have never had to visit anyone in prison before. I wonder if I can take pictures to give him..

Thank you all for reading my story.
jess7077 jess7077
2 Responses May 24, 2012

I know its hard at times,just take it day by day. I too live in an a apartment have a cat and my boyfriend who I met online is in prison...I had an ex who was a totally different person when on narcotics..It was hard on me emotionally when he would flip out on me,and acted like I did something to him..I read different stories,quotes,prayed,went for walks and got to know myself a little better each day. It doesn't take away you missing your boyfriend,but it helps to have strength so you can be srong for the both of you...I wish you luck and just know that your not alone!

Am sorry that you are going though this I am going though it as well he has 19 more months we have a son together he is 7 months , I miss him so much I live in AZ he like 2 hours away I have no car to see him he knows that but we do talk alot and write alot , I keep my mind busy with work and my son On my day off I do lots of stuff and stay busy its very hard believe me This is my first going though this , Its this website it called Am there my screen name is ChristinaAlfred you are going to like it very much it helps to deal big time , Sometimes you feel like you are the only person going thought his pain but you are not I met some really nice strong women on there .<br />
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I pray that you will find peace