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8 Months and Nothing

  In november I met this person that was starting to demonstrate feelings towards me.  He was in a relationship at that time but he didn't cheat on the other person with me.  Things were going bad with this other person so they finished in december.  He started demonstrating things to me and started saying awsome things that I have not heard in a long time so obviously I got attached.  Then he realized he still liked the other one so he just told me he couldnt and left me hanging.  We remained friends and later on in march he broke up again and in may he was already showing things towards me and said that in summer everything would be cool and we would go out and theeeeen he got a call from the ex (which he does not like anymore but his calls always seemed to confuse him and cause him stress) and from that day on.. once again he started giving me the cold shoulder and told me the other days he was trying 2 be friends with someone that was crazy about him...and Im like...you have shown me a lot of feelings two.  I can't read him, he is very closed mind.. I dont know if he is scared or what ever... what should I do?? give up??  wait??  it's been so many moths... help out!!!

dean21 dean21 18-21, M 3 Responses Jul 5, 2009

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Thank you!! your comment's really helped :)

I can feel your pain through your story, please understand that it is REALLY hard for men to change and if he is hanging on to his ex like this, he probably will for some time be hung up on her. I judge the parts of my life now based on whether they bring me pleasure or pain, and on if I WANT pleasure or pain. It sounds like you want a pleasurable relationship, and he is bringing you pain, has brought you pain and most likely will continue to bring you the pain of his being hung up on his ex. If you want something better, let go of him. If you can deal with his pain causing you pain, then wait around for him. It's your choice and I don't really know what you want.

Well sweetheart I don't want to sound harsh. But it sounds like this guy has alot of drama in his life with his ex and all. And he likes to have you around so that he can use you to make himself feel better when things are going wrong with the other woman. If he had any interest in you he probably would of made a move by now. And not just string u along. I don't think he is scared, you might be the best thing for him and he just does not see that. But you shouldn't put your heart on the line if he is not willing to do the same. Go out there and find someone who can see how much you are worth. Someone who will not toy with your feelings and risk losing you like this guy does. He does not understand how valuable you are. Let him know that you are in love with him and if he still doesn't want to commit or give you what u need then move on. I have been in a situation like that before. You can not fix this guy and his issues.