I. Can. Die.

So here's a story about a boy who loves this girl. This boy was stubborn, egoistic and had a very low self esteem. But, this girl, still loved him all the same. The beginning of their relationship was great, but it slowly started getting worse. See, egoistic this boy was. It ended up hurting the girl more and more. However, this boy slowly realizes that it's not right, it's not fair, it's stupid, and he should try fixing himself. So he tried, tried real hard. He loves this girl a lot you see. But time after time, he ended up hurting the girl more and more. Feeling bad, feeling guilty, he tried to make the girl happy, tried to spoil her as much as he can because she deserves the best. He's nowhere near rich, he used to work a lot, and saved the money he earns. But he wouldn't mind using every single penny for her. This girl has been through a lot you see. So much that everyone would probably think how cruel this world can be. But you see, this boy, it was his first actual relationship, a serious one I mean. Immature was he in a lot of ways. But nevertheless, he tries to change, for himself, as well as for her, for the better. It was slow, but he was sure that he'll change.

Time together passes way too quick, 7 months it has been. They had really good memories, as well as really awful ones. But it was still the happiest moment of this lil boy's life. This boy never really had a goal in life. Never really cared about the future. But this all changed when he met this girl. She brought meaning to his life, to strive for the best, to work really hard for the future they would have together. This boy was young, but he was certain, he wouldn't want another, he wouldn't want "better", he knows there's no one like her, for he would marry her. In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad. He would only love her more with each passing day.

Then, a rough day they had, full of arguments. But at the end of the day, this sweet and cute lil girl still wanted to be with him. Because, she said, no matter how rough their day was, at the end of the day, all that mattered is they have each other. This really did touch him, I mean who wouldn't be? So, this lil boy decided to go over and meet his princess. But, she said she was doing something, which he didn't like. It was no big deal actually, if thought with a clear mind, still young, still stubborn, still immature, this lil boy lashed out at her. What's even worse, he lashed out on innocent people. He did a lot of things, that he knew he shouldn't have if only he thought clearly.

So, waited he did, for she has very important things to do, before they could talk things out. 2 weeks. The two weeks was long. Felt like eternity. With each day, he waited, he thought about things, thought about everything. Because there's nothing else he could even think about. It hurt more with each passing day, because the more he thought, the more it hurt. The more he realizes how much he needs her. It also made him realize, what's the point of arguing? What's the point of doing things that would only hurt each other? What's the point of making something small into something big when all it's going to do is hurt each other? So he decided, he would change. He decided there's no point acting how he acted. He decided, if things do work out, he would be the best, he would be patient, he would think things thoroughly, he would give her his 101%.

Even so, he still had to wait, in this time, he thought about the things she would like. So, with what's left of his savings, he bought her a dress and heels to bring her out for dinner. For you see, this girl likes a lot of things, but the boy just can't afford to do it. So he thought, he would do this one last thing. Because, the girl sacrificed a lot, she went through a lot, even before she met him. So he decided, even if things don't work out, he would give this one last gift after they talked. For what she's been through, she deserves a lot of things. Some of which this boy can't offer yet.

The day finally came, it was today. They talked, it was saddening, it was heartbreaking, the girl decided, it just wasn't right, it wouldn't work. At least not until this boy changes. This boy, however, realized all of this already, he swore he would change or already had changed. But, it was all too late, what he did was just unforgivable. It hurt her a lot to let go. But it was for the best, she said. Maybe it is, because this girl, deserves someone much better. He was very lucky this girl gave him a chance to even begin with. But he ruined it.

Yeap, this is the story of me and how I fell in love with a girl. She's the best girl anyone could ask for, never had I any reasons to doubt her. There were a lot of reasons for her to not trust me, or even doubt me, but despite all that, she decided to trust me anyway. She truly is one of a kind. This one mistake, I would remember and regret for the rest of my life. For, truly, she was the one that I would marry.

Never do make rash decisions, never do decide anything out of anger, never, ever, do something that you know would hurt only the both of you in the end. Be thankful and grateful for the ones you have. Love them with all your heart, love every single bit of them. Love them for their flaws, love them for them. Trust them with all your heart, because they too, want to trust you with theirs. Change for the better, change for yourself. For you know, the ones who love you, only want the best for you. Change your bad habits, change them all, before it's too late.

There's also a lot of people I would want to apologize to, as well as thank. But I want to do it personally, face to face.
Xerixe Xerixe
18-21, M
Jan 18, 2013