Addicted

for about 12 years now i have been madly in love and possibly addicted to this guy.  He has more faults than there are stars in the sky and worse is that he passionately hates my guts I think.  I cut off All communication with him about four years ago when he flipped out (I think he might have been on drugs or something cuz i've never seen him do that before in my life).  Anyways, it was a big mess and he was so irrational... accusing me of everything under the sun and ranting crazily about how If I confess to God knows what then we can pick up the peices of our relationship and rebuild but I didn't DO anything so I didn't confess and finally I just shut off my phone, packed up my car and moved out of state.  I dropped off the face of the earth for a while and nobody knew where I went for about a year.  Then I came back to my hometown and stayed on the DL for about a year and a half in which I met my boyfriend and had his baby.  and then we moved yet again out of state.  but not a day goes by when I don't think about him.

JuicyJuliet02 JuicyJuliet02
22-25, F
4 Responses Jul 17, 2007

Hanging on to someone you "love" who hurts you is co-dependence.<br />
It's a sickness just like alcoholism or drug addiction. THere is help for it.<br />
<br />
"Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook" is a lifesaver, and will help you<br />
understand why you do some of the things you do.<br />
<br />
Free yourself. You're worth it, and you only get one precious life.

i feel you ..but if you love him. ...please ..please tell him losing contact may have only made his life worse ..just try to make it right. and Godbless :)

Did you ever try contacting him again?

i'm sorry that you had to go through that. the ones we love the most are usually the ones who have the ability to hurt us the most. there has got to be a reason why we love the people we do. i hear you. everyday...