My Boyfriend Is Terminally Ill.

I've known since I met him and before we started dating but I don't think I've fully absorbed it until now, and still I'm not completely sure if the reality of it has completely set in. He has a liver disease that will progressively get worse and eventually kill him, there is no way around it. There is no cure and no effective treatment, only maintenance of his symptoms. According to some of the medical papers I've read he's lucky if he'll make it past thirty. We're both still very young, i'm almost nineteen and he's almost twenty, and I have no fantasies about us getting married and being together forever and ever, merely because you never know what can happen in just a year's time, but I do know that I'm in love with him and care for him deeply. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else. The idea that he won't live a full life, regardless of whether or not I'm there with him for all of it, kills me. I don't know how to cope with this, and I keep holding this idea in my head that there's some kind of cure somewhere or some kind of way to make him live longer. I just can't fathom the fact that he could leave this earth so soon and it kills me to see what his disease does to him, physically and emotionally. I've been doing a lot of research on it and trying to understand and be there for him, but there is a part of me, I think, that will never really know what it's like to be in his position. I just need help figuring out how to work through and cope with the fact that someone I love is terminally ill, as well as help with knowing how to be there with him and help him in the right ways.
DoeEyes16 DoeEyes16
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

I am so sorry, my heart goes out to you.