You're Worth It AllWhere to begin, where to begin, well, you all know that I'm in a long distance love, and I've been with him quite awhile, and I believe it WILL work out, we've talked and worked a few things that are in our way in the future. And we will complete more as time goes by. I have a goal, in writing a book, and getting well known for it in America if possible, so I may get interviews there so I may visit him soon.
I'll have to work hard, and I will, for him. He means the world to me, I'd do almost anything for him, yes ALMOST not anything. Because I wouldn't kill someone if he told me too, I'd want to because he wants me to, but I can't bring my hands to do something like that. Of course he wouldn't ask me to kill someone. But I'd do almost anything for him.
I want be seeing him for two weeks, I know I'll be having a hard time coping with that. What am I to do? I don't really have anyone to out with (friends) and my family is an inside family, they don't like going outside. Summer is so boring, without homework, you know, making you busy, I mean at first. I was looking forward for summer, being with my boyfriend, talking and skyping most of the day. But now he's going, what am I to do? Read? Draw? Write? Play? There is a limit to how long those things take. Clean? Hang around family? Garden? Those things will get old, and would only last half a day, then what to I do then? Repeat till he's back?
I know I will be mailing him, I know I will be writing things for him, drawing things, maybe send some voice mails. I know for sure eventually in that two weeks I will cry a few times, because I will be missing him hard. I will being thinking about only him, when he'll be back, I already have my calender star-ed when he will return, and I will be crossing each day that passes till that day he returns. It's going to be painful. I just love him so much, that being apart, or thinking about it hurts me, and I miss him already even though he isn't going yet. He's fine with it though, he isn't hurt, he might be able to mail me, but not much or none at all.
But he wants me to be strong! So I will, he said I can be strong and cry, I can do that! I'll do it for him, I can't relay on him all the time, he said so. He might not be there, he isn't there for me, because he's 24 hours+ away from me. He can't hug me to comfort me, he can't kiss me to stop the crying, he can't stay up late because his laptop will be taken away. I gotta be strong! I'll live!
Yesterday I didn't want to tell him something I knew because I was scared he'd overpower it, and so he was like "Oh so keeping things a secret now huh?" In a joking-ish like way. "I will too then" I told him he doesn't tell me his secrets anyways, he said he'll keep more then. Now I feel bad for keeping that from him, and I feel bad that he's keeping things from me too D:
But now I told him...So...I wonder what he's keeping from me...I'm going to ask him...
Lately he's putting effort, and he's still working to perfect it, which I'm so excited when it reaches to perfect! He's just amazing right now too! I'm so happy he's putting effort in for both of us!
He's worth the pain.
He's worth the hard work.
He's worth all my love and more.
He's worth the wait.
He's worth the trouble.
He's worth the tears.
He's worth it.
He's just...beyond everything.
And I try hard...to make him feel the best, the most amazing person ever, make him feel special, and that I love him.
I will wait for you.
I will make you smile.
I will make you laugh.
I will make you happy.
I will make you not regret.
I will make you say "It was worth it".
I will make you feel so special.
I love you endlessly, forever.
It's sad that you don't see how amazing you are, through my eyes.
But, I'll just have to try to show you that you are.
With my heart, that you hold dear in your hands.
I will work hard for you.
I will try my best.
I am strong depending on my courage, strength and inspiration.
I'm not one to give up easily.
And funny how you told me once, because of your mistake once, you thought I'd break up with you.
No, I'm not one to jump to that, it did not even cross my mind.
I was too busy crying, thinking why.
I love you too much back then to let you go for that mistake,
for that pain.
And I love you too much now, to ever let you go either. To leave you, to think of another.
No one comes to mind other than you.
And I will forever love you so much, to ever leave you, to dump you, to forget you.
Never will I ever do that. Because you the love of my life.
Without you, I have no other reason to keep working. To keep fighting against this harsh world. To keep getting strong.
No reason at all.
You. you are my reason.
You and only you.
My love to you.
Is larger than this world.
I...I love you endlessly, and I hope you see this story J.
I'll always be and only yours truly. Forever and ever. My love for you will never change.
I will forever stand by you.
So stand by me too.
And this, this is my story, of me fighting against the pain of being apart by miles over miles. Of being so close, and yet so far. I don't see 24 hours away that far. This is my story of my love for my boyfriend. This is my story for him, to see and read whenever he is thinking of me or whenever he feels like it.
I love you.