Who To Pick??

ok so i have a boyfriend who live so far away and my X-boyfriend who live in my town and i have feeling for both but i don't know who i want to be with :'( and they both have feeling for me to i need help fast.
castielgirl01 castielgirl01
1 Response Jan 15, 2013

Hello castiegirl01,

to answer that question, one would need to have access to how you feel and what know about this situation. I will not try to reply to your question but I will ask you a few question to try to help you a little bit. You don't have to answer me here, it's more important that you answer to yourself.

Why did you and your ex break up ? Did it come from his side ? How did he treat you ? Would you want to get back to the way things were between you ... or would it be a step back in your personal evolution ?
Isn't what you feel for him now mostly the attraction that has always been there and will probably be for a very long time ? Do you get to see him ? Maybe you should try to observe the way he makes you feel... If it's the stomach-stirring thing (butterflies), chances are there's still strong attraction between you n him which isn't about anything more.

From personal experience with long distance relationships... If your boyfriend isn't there for you as much as you need, a part of you might wanna try to find that support, care and real-time affection elsewhere. In my case it made me feel stronger feelings for a friend whom I was seeing often. I thought they were really threatening my relationship but as I was patient and didn't do any silly thing - I eventually found out it was more about my beloved not being around often enough. What is especially hard is when you can't do the activities you enjoy with your lover and instead u do them with someone else... Then it can make u feel more for that other person, because it's likely that you get emotionally attached to what you find in him/her.

Try observing your feelings and behaviour around either of the guys, respectively. Try to figure out who gives you a more "bright and happy" feeling to be with... who makes you feel at home...

Then of course, your choice can also depend on what kind of relationship you are looking for.

Best wishes