I Wonder If This Is Meant To Be...

It's been about 4 years since it all started. He was working in Germany, I was living in Argentina. We found each other online. We were from the same hometown BTW.

We tried getting together but destiny didn't let it happen. We were never in the same country long enough to make it happen. Paris, Los Angeles, Berlin, NY, Mexico, and many other places were added to the endless list of places where either one of us was living ant any given time for the last 4 years. Work... too much work. We stayed in touch for years. Just as friends. But we still liked each other a lot. Finally a few months ago we talked honestly again and realized... we never stopped caring, we always liked each other, we still wanted to try. And we did. We spent a few weeks together until work commitments made me fly back to the US.

This time we decided to take destiny in our hands and just kind of make it happen. He came to visit. He stayed for 10 days. What for? Maybe just to be with each other a little bit more. Just to hug, to make love, to know each other more, just to be there... and it was wonderful. It really really was. He leaves tonight.

I'm getting this feeling of emptiness.

I feel like ... now what?

We still live in different countries. We still have separate lives, separate destinies. I feel like I may have let too deeply in my life someone who does not have the ability to stay in it. I may be just getting me some pain and heartache. He is wonderful. So wonderful. If he's not the one for me, then whoever it is... is gonna have to be a little bit like this guy.

He's incredibly sweet. I don't remember anyone aver looking at me that way. With so much care, passion, and depth. I don't remember anyone so sweet, so witty, genuine, fun and caring. Someone who... feels like home. It feels like home being with him. I don't remember anyone making me feel all these things in bed. He's a wonderful man. Even though he's not perfect, I really don't remember enjoying anyone's company this much... not for a long time at least.

He is leaving and making no promises. No commitments. We are keeping it still kind of secret.


Mkarronni Mkarronni
31-35, F
6 Responses Nov 7, 2009

I feel same way, gosh it's been 2 years with my guy... :(

not really ladylush38.i also fall in love and ur distance to big but i move to her and now we are living togheter 3 years married :)

If someone that far away loves you,he moves his World to be with you.If he doesnt,then he doesnt love you...that is the acid test....

I can understand your situation as I have experienced the exact same thing too.

I also feel the same way about someone. She lives thousands of miles away but when I met her two years ago I fell for her straight away. We got on really well despite the language barrier and I felt something between us. At the time I thought she liked me but I could never get the courage to tell her how I felt. Then two years later (this summer) I lived in her town for 3 weeks with another family. It took a while for the same communication to occur but when it did I fell in love with her again, but like two years ago I couldn't open up about her. It's hard now because two years ago I knew I'd see her again but now it seems very difficult. It's only been recently that I've told someone else how I feel, a friend who lives in the same town and I've asked him to tell her how I feel. Hopefully i'll get a reply soon even if it's no because I'll know that I can deal with that, instead of holding it in me for another 2 years. All I can say is that if you love someone and feel that they feel the same way about you tell him/her before it's to late

This is so wonderful story..I am now missing my boyfriend so much because of your story and the far distance between us drives me crazy.He was just leaving me like 4 month ago..but he promised he will come back and asked me to wait for him and I definitely do that. I know he is trying his best to make true our love and so do I.Most of the time I need him but he seems to be very busy with work and I do understand him,actually not every times..now I am trying my best to be patient ..hopefully,we will see a beautiful day lay ahead.I encourage you to fight for your love and make it true..don't let it go without trying your best..if love this time worth a lot for you..Susu,don't give up!!!