I love him. Sometimes, the reality of loving someone that isn't who you envisioned as your soul mate is draining. I am a strong, extremely educated woman. I am more than capable of standing on my own two feet and shouldering the burden alone if need be.

I'm in my second marriage... when we were dating, my husband seemed to be the epitome of all that I wanted in a lifetime partner. Compassionate, funny, intelligent, strong, trustworthy, a wonderful father figure for my young daughter... the whole shebang.

We knew each other in high school and many years later reconnected... dated for several months before he popped the question... were engaged almost a year before the wedding... now, 7 months into our marriage, I've found that the man of my dreams was an illusion.

I truly love my husband, he's a wonderful step father and a great father to his own daughter... but, the shine has worn off. I've come to realize he's not the man of my dreams. I was projecting all the qualities I was looking for onto him and those qualities just don't exist in him. He's not the romantic I thought he was, he's not the strong person I made him out to be and in many ways, he's truly not the man he portrayed himself to be.

But, I love him for who he is... and I will learn to accept that the ideal man of my dreams just isn't my husband. And he never will be. And that my friends, will have to be enough.

InMyCastle InMyCastle
1 Response Feb 12, 2009

Probably one of the biggest problems that we have going into a marriage is the unrealistic expectations that we set forth.....for our spouse and for the "idea" of what marriage/partnering should look and feel like.<br />
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The reality is most certainly not like the expectation....