I Love Someone With Anorexia

Hi, I have stumbled upon this group today. I never give up looking for support and help for my girlfriend.

I met her through an on-line dating site (well she found me) we started chatting via the site and soon moved onto email chats, at first she said she has missed out so much of her life due to illness. I didn’t really pay much attention to this because I was enjoying finding out about her and she was enjoying finding out about me.

I asked her in one email what illness she had; I even said if she didn’t want to talk about it then it would not be a problem. She said in her next reply that she had suffered anorexia nervosa for the past 16 years.

I had heard about anorexia I think from watching a documentary on TV some time ago, what I didn’t know is how much it affects the person who is suffering from it. I could tell from her email that it was a make or break point for her fearing that I would not want anything more to do with her.

I replied back to her and told her my honest feeling about it which was it does not matter to me and I still see her for the interesting woman she is.

It was at this point I decided to educate myself into eating disorders, bought lots of books on the subject and read I also found many support groups on the internet and information too which really helped me understand a bit more of what anorexia is about.

Things moved on, we exchanged some more emails and finally set up a meet in a town half way between both our homes. That night was just magical for both of us, we soon realised we had a lot in common and really hit it off, our relationship grew from there and still is growing today.

Things have not always been easy, she has pushed me away in the past because she battled with the thoughts of her body image and wondered why anyone could love her. I stood by her, gave her space and stayed as a friend and refusing to give up on her like so many friends had done in the past. I am still with her and I fall more in love with her as each day goes by. Out of all the relationships I have had before nothing compares to this one, she is just an amazing woman with so many great points about her which she never knew were there.

I am only too well aware her illness is there and I do give her my full support and love and I always listen to her when she needs to talk. This is the least I can do for her.

My point of sharing this story with you is to say that just because you have and ED it doesn’t mean to say you will never have a find love with someone who truly loves you for who you are and that it is possible to accept you are worthy of love and a life.

kj38 kj38
36-40, M
4 Responses Mar 12, 2010

Thank you, Sir. I have an ED, and that made me feel great..
Now, I'm gonna ask a guy to prom!

my bro likes the fact his gf is anorexic. he doesn't encourage it, but he seems to support it.

Hi "jhain782", <br />
<br />
You got it right, it is tough. <br />
<br />
I think the hardest part for me and probably any one who cares for a person with an ED is the feeling of being helpless. I have been pushed away 3 times upto now and yet she can't realise why I havent run a mile, most of her non-anorexic friends have left a long time ago. <br />
<br />
In each case we have just given each other time and space (usually a couple of weeks) until we end up missing each other too much. I know its really hard for her to comprehend why anyone would be able to love her.<br />
<br />
How did you cope with being pushed away? what brought you back together? How long did you stay away? Sorry if you dont want to answer that, dont feel as you have to.<br />
<br />
The first 2 times I was pushed away it really hurt a lot. I tried not to let my girlfriend see that but I think she did notice some change in me. This time I find a bit easier because I was expecting it to happen, it's been a week now.<br />
<br />
I hope it works out for you both, you sound like a good guy and its obvious you love your girlfriend very much.<br />
<br />
Take care!

I know it's tough. My girlfriend of two years also has anorexia. She has also pushed me away but I have never ceased to try my hardest to be there for her and to support her. She is recovering after only suffering from it for a year but it is still a long and challenging recovery process. What makes it even more challenging is we live 500 miles away during the school year so we don't see each other much. I love her too much to give up though and I want so badly to be with her and support her for the rest of my life.