One Of My First Poems.

Well, I got into freestylin' abit, then I saw Brave New Voices, and I fell in love with the energy and emotion that was portrayed through speaking it. So, I eventually started writing. I don't feel more at peace than when words that truly mean something to me are flowing out.

Here's something I wrote I hope people enjoy, I call it, "Watch Your Step"...

I once walked with crutches, an extra set of legs that supported me for years.

Built with steel that was certified by “Doubt”.

Held together by nuts and bolts guaranteed to work by “Insecurity & Uncertainty”.

A nice grip I held onto made by “The Comfort Zone.”

They took me years to construct.

To get the package shipped in

As my sister and my brothers judged me for every motion I made, making me fear judgment for any choice I might one day make,

Instilling the doubt that certified the steel.

As my father was only jealous of the strength I had to open the curtains that sheltered the light of my soul to the world, and he would tell me “you’re too happy, stop smiling so much.”

Making me more uncertain if whom I am is whom I should be guaranteeing those nuts and bolts held their place.

As my mother suffered too much on my behalf, and made me feel guilty for her choice to do so.

Making my comfort zone all the more suffocating, making me hold onto that grip all the tighter.

See, I may blame it on them, but I put my crutches together piece by piece.

It took me years to realize I even made them.

Once I knew they were there, once I knew I walked with them constantly, I didn’t know what to do with them.

Was I going to wean myself off of them?

Or tear them out from under my feet so I could walk freely?

I tried that,

And surely, I walked,

Confidently, I walked.

Headstrong, I walked and began to stumble.

See, because instantly, and completely eradicating that grip, those nuts and bolts, that steel, those crutches with which I walked, it took me back.

It took me back, with my bags packed, into a world of ignorance, with sights so familiar I got bored quick, and soon flew back home to use those crutches with which I walked.

I had to wean myself off of them, so I could walk and not stumble, to strengthen those muscles in my legs, my own two feet with which I could walk.

I could’ve called it Physical therapy.

You could’ve called it slow progress.

I just said it was one step at a time.

One step at a time, so I could take my time to hone my mind in.

Then I thought:

“Maybe I’ll find a way to do this through sublime timing, or rhyming.”

A constant grinding of the gears, that paved the road helping me to find my fears.

But as I got near, as the destination was almost here,

The road extended… and breached the border just beyond the horizon.

Just out of sight, just out of my reach, and

My destination was never close enough for me to grasp onto.

It was just a long and winding road with pitfalls and crazy people who got woven into a disillusioned web of reality that got funneled into my paranoia, which insisted I found reasons not to trust them.

Those voices inside]reasoned and rationalized to keep me paralyzed,

Because I let them convince me that what they said made sense.

What they said was perfectly rational.

What they said was completely valid.

And when I walked on this disenchanted road those words sliced at the Achilles’ tendon of my soul to keep me crippled.

So, that I had to use those crutches with which I walked on my road.

And every road we’re on, every second we limp down the road, every moment we live, breathe we breathe, is a choice waiting to be made, an opportunity waiting to be taken by the reins and shown who’s boss.

So as soon as those crutches appeared under my pits I relished in it to realize the relevant revelation that had to come from that walk, that moment.

With that realization these crutches just became extra weight that slowed me down; I would try to throw them off, but I just ended up flailing around like a fish out of water.

Those crutches that I grew so accustomed to became a part of me, and the way I think,

They were fused to my arms, my legs, my soul, and my mind.

That grip, those nuts and bolts, that steel, those crutches became a part of the way I walk.

I understand them now.

Now, I’ve accepted them.

Now, I walk with them.

I talk with them,

I rock with them.

I do tricks on them,

I let my soul loose as I dance with them!

I have them lift me so high and move me so fast that it seems like I’m doing that David Blane trick where I'm floating…

All I had to do was and break the confines that kept me locked in my comfort zone.

Unscrew those nuts and bolts and make them forever immovable as I placed them into the legs with which I now walk.

All I had to do! Was fuse those crutches to my soul, and gave myself a spirit of steel, with which I now live.

See, the point is that each and every one of us has our own set of crutches, our own problems, our own doubts, our own uncertainties and insecurities about who we are and what we can do, our own comfort which we must constantly breach the borders of.

All I want you get is that you have a life, so live it.

Forget about the doubt,

Let go of that grip and push your limits.

Don’t be held down by your silence and inaction.

Take your gimp, and make yourself a pimp with a limp,

Or forever be crippled by those crutches with which you walk.

Icarus728 Icarus728
18-21, M
Feb 13, 2010