Here's a Bunch!

I found this list just today at

  • "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

  • "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

  • "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

  • "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

  • "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

  • "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

  • "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

  • "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

  • "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

  • "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

  • "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

  • "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

  • "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

  • "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

  • "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

  • "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.

  • "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

  • "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

  • "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

  • "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

  • "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

  • "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

  • "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

  • "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

  • "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

  • "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

  • "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

  • "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

  • "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

  • "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

  • "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

  • "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

  • "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

  • "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

  • "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

  • "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

  • "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

  • "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

  • "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

  • "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

  • "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

  • "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

  • "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

  • "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

  • "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

  • "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

  • "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

  • "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

  • "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

  • "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

  • "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

  • "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

  • "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

  • "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

  • "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

  • "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

  • "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

  • "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

  • "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

  • "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

  • "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

  • "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

  • "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

  • "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

  • "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

  • "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

  • "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

  • "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

  • "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

  • "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

  • "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

  • "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

  • "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

  • "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

  • "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

  • "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

  • "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

  • "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

  • "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

  • "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

  • "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

  • "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
OFFthecuff OFFthecuff
22-25, F
9 Responses Nov 16, 2007

Well done, Cutty Sark!

LOL!!!!! Those were great! :-)

"Warning: May contain nuts." - that one I saw on some peanut M&Ms that my son picked up. I thought it was funny!<br />
<br />
Thank you for the laugh! :-)

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.<br />
<br />
This is not actually stupid- Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. <br />
<br />
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.<br />
That one is just hilarious!

These were so funny. I could not stop laughing and I actually woke up my dad who was napping in the other room.

Yeah... one has to wonder sometimes: Who douches with deodorant?!

whare did you get all this info?

good find. VERY nice read :)

wow! Those about covered everything!