Size

Here's a Bunch!

A personal story in the experience: I Love Stupid Warning Labels

By OFFthecuff

More Stories:

Message

Story Details

Nov 16th, 2007

826 Views

1 rec

9 Comments

Experience

Love Stupid Warning Labels

707 Members
160 Stories

I found this list just today at http://blameitonthevoices.blogspot.com/:

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

1 Recommend
this

Comment (9)

Share Your Story

Flag

Share |

Comments

1-9 of 9 Comments

Comment on this Story
terie5	Posted Nov 16th, 2007 at 6:03PM wow! Those about covered everything!
wellversed	Posted Nov 16th, 2007 at 11:25PM good find. VERY nice read :)
fullofshannonjoy	Posted Nov 25th, 2007 at 5:43PM whare did you get all this info?
OFFthecuff	Posted Dec 5th, 2007 at 8:51PM Yeah... one has to wonder sometimes: Who douches with deodorant?!
SavedByGrace14	Posted Feb 17th, 2008 at 4:34PM These were so funny. I could not stop laughing and I actually woke up my dad who was napping in the other room.
freedomtolearn	Posted Apr 3rd, 2008 at 7:49AM "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. This is not actually stupid- Peanuts are legumes, not nuts. "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. That one is just hilarious!
Yohanna	Posted Jan 17th, 2009 at 11:01PM "Warning: May contain nuts." - that one I saw on some peanut M&Ms that my son picked up. I thought it was funny! Thank you for the laugh! :-)
pixelita Feeling chipper	Posted Feb 20th, 2009 at 11:19AM LOL!!!!! Those were great! :-)
MontiPora	Posted Mar 6th, 2009 at 9:33AM Well done, Cutty Sark!

1-9 of 9 Comments

Share Your Comment
...then continue the discussion in the story's forum or, send this story to a friend

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

Polls for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

Here are some polls created by members of this group:

Whats Worse?

See more polls for I Love Stupid Warning Labels, or create your own poll

Questions & Answers for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

Here are a few Questions and Answers for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

Love Stupid Warning Labels Open Questions

There are no open questions yet. Why not ask a question now?

Love Stupid Warning Labels Resolved Questions

There are no resolved questions yet. Why not answer a question now?

See all question and answers for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

Forum & Chat Board for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

Here are popular forum topics for I Love Stupid Warning Labels

See the Love Stupid Warning Labels forum to chat about these topics and more!

Music, Song, Artist, Book and Movie Recommendations

Related Topics to this Story

Members have said this story should also be found by these phrases and keywords:

Keywords associated with this story's parent group, I Love Stupid Warning Labels:

No group tags added yet.

Show this Story's Author Some Love

There's lots of ways to show you appreciated this person's story from the experience group, I Love Stupid Warning Labels. Send them a virtual gift, make a gesture, scribble on their whiteboard, or send them a private message.

Translate this Story

Read this story in your own language

Experience Project > Experience Groups > Recreation and Sports > Love Stupid Warning Labels > Stories > Here's a Bunch!

Anonymous & Free

to join millions in the world's largest community of life experiences

Explore first-person stories about any experience, including your own! Connect anonymously with people who understand.

↓ ADVERTISEMENT ↓