Wendy

Someone asked a question today - which I answered - about marrying someone 10 years your senior. It got me thinking and remembering.

When I was young I fell deeply in love with a friend of mine who was 9 years older than me. She was married with kids. Unfortunately, even though we were good friends, she dismissed my romantic desires as me simply being a "silly boy." Some years later when her marriage broke down - nothing to do with me - I asked her to consider marrying me. She scorned that suggestion. We stayed close for some years, but eventually it died when I realised I was never going to get anywhere. Once she was single, but still brooding for her ex-husband, she became more remote with me than ever. I moved on.

She remains, however, the love of my life. When she was still married, but separated, we did get physical. But I got the impression it was all for my sake, to keep me happy, rather than any desire or want on her part. There was certainly no commitment from her.

It was taboo in that when the physicality started at a kind of foreplay level, she was still married. It was still taboo once she separated, for while she would admit me into her bed then, I had to clear out quick afterwards as she did not want her children to spring us.

But I loved it, and I loved her.

Sad really.