Coming Back Home

As i lay in bed like i do every Saturday morning here in Virginia. Im listening to my favorite radio show that is played out of Charlottesville Va called Grateful Dead & Phriends. They play 2 hrs of dead and then a hour of phish and other jam bands. I hear jerry singing wharf rat from a texas mid 70's show. Memories flood my head of all that has happened over the years and my journey with the music that i credit for being a huge part of saving my life.

I use to hear the dead growing up. It was played alot in my house by my uncles and aunts older brothers. I didnt understand then how the music would carry me through my life and how it would be there for me when i needed it most. To keep it short ill just say when i was 15 going on 30 lol i found drugs. I was primed for the fall due to a not so hot childhood. I had a loving and supportive family but unfortunately there were trusted individuals who associated with our family who decided to take advantage of a young 12 yr old girl. Well as the years went on when i was 15 at a dead concert there last rfk show as a matter of fact i was introduced to heroin. When i came home from that show i sought it out and was able to find it and once i did i used it for 10 years. Somehow i was able to finish high school and college with honors no less. Even had a 4.5 gpa. But once college was out i just said to hell with it and dove head long into drug addiction. I sold my body, my possessions, my very soul to get my drug. I would come home after getting what i needed and play the dead cause it would help me drift off to dream about happier times. So eventually the law came across me and for one unfortunate event i got locked up for 18 months. While i was locked up we were allowed to buy radios and every saturday morning i got to listen to the dead. When i got out of jail i felt lost and empty with no place to belong. I knew i couldnt continue as an addict or it would kill me. One day a friend told me about a band recreating dead shows called Dark Star Orchestra. I went to one of there shows out in norfolk va and when i walked in the door and heard that music it was like i was home again. Dso helped me find the dead again. My recovery hasnt been easy and alot of things have helped me but most of all the music was there through it all. It gave me the peace when i needed it desperately. This november ill celebrate 6 years clean. I know this story jumped around alot and isnt written well but hopefully you get my point. I love the grateful dead and i always will. I miss them so very much. Luckily there still out there in one form or another and luckily i have DSO as well cause what they do is amazing. Anyway thats all i have for now. When i have more time ill write some more about some of the shows i went too. :-) Peace & Hugggggggggsssssssss
blndtwr31 blndtwr31
31-35, F
2 Responses Sep 22, 2012

Years back my friends told me that Jerry and I could pass for twins, I hope it wasn't just the drug part LOL

**wraps my arms around you and holds you tight**