I Love the New York Yankees
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO Walter Moryan and my story the best he can remember in his noggin At sixteen when I dropped out of high school I started sanding and refinishing hard wood floors. I worked for several companies for several close friends. From there I had every job under the sun that u could possibly think of. I needed money immediately so I started waiting tables. From there whatever contractor needed a hand restoring houses I had a day o pay. I even had a job setting up for parties etc... Food, games, tents whatever was needed to have a party. I couldn’t picture doing that for the rest of my life so I pursued heating, air conditioning. That job was not for me either the boss was a complete psycho that discouraged me from moving forward. So, on the road again, I was trying to find my nook in life. I started installing tile flooring because I thought since I had experience that was my calling. Soon after installing tiles 12 hours a day 6 days a week it was back braking work I soon realized that this to was not my calling. Throughout these jobs I always felt deep down that I was here for something more. So I kept digging and digging for my nook in all these jobs. In a nut shell I could build a house from the ground up. I even can do the land scraping around the house I built. For fun I loved to spin old vinyl records. I eventually with a lot of practice built up my skills. I would DJ parties for friends and family I really enjoyed spinning records and wanted to further my education while working during the day and getting my GED at night school . With a lot of hard work I finished night school. I then decided to take it a step further decided to enroll at Brookdale Community College in communications to follow my dreams in the music industry... While in college I saw an opportunity to intern at Jam box studios in Manhattan. I worked in the mornings and went to school and managed to do my internship. At my Uncle Marks house in Pennsylvania I was spinning break beats with trance mixed with Classic Rock. The old school with new school beats. Everyone and their mother was up dancing their ***** off. Smiles and Beats, my type of galaxy I want to chill in 24/ 7. My Two cousins Stephanie and Stacie were going to North Carolina and asked if I wanted to go, move to North Carolina with them and Chicken Butt my nephew? Just start over in a new place? Yes, I shouted excitedly while throwing on Motown. A few hours later, suddenly I had packed my clothes and DJ Equipment into my sister’s hand me down Hyundai Accent. Trust me, it was just me and only me. Trust me it was a long jammed, tough trip. They knew the area, knew the hotspots, and just knew where to go, who to chill with at what day and time. The only question was Do you want to be around Marines or not? I was a Civilian living surrounded by Marines. Needless to say, "God Bless the USA" I felt safe and both of my cousins dated Marines so, you can say that I have really chilled and I was blessed to be able to be in the company of Those Strong Souls. We lived a few minutes from Camp Lejune military base, and work for me was tough. I did whatever I could while living there, Luckily, I Was Blessed. Both Stephanie and Stacy took complete care of me. I was older, but my two female younger cousins took care of me on a daily basis. At then in my life, NOW, I was a Toll Collector for a short while until I realized that it was way too boring for me. All day, I did the same exact thing for over 8 hours a day. That same constant repetition was making me LOCO. So, I found the hot spot in town called Logins Steakhouse. You can drink a Roadhouse ice tea, watch your steak being cooked right in front of your face, eat peanuts and throw your shells on the ground. NO WORRIES, it was cool and you were expected. It was that kind of chill place. I was a bareback, host, server, dishwasher, pretty much, whatever I could do to get a days’ pay, and I was there with bells on. Well, I don't know about with bells on, but I was there early ready to put on my galoshes and walk through the ****. S h h + be quite, that’s not nice First, I would get cool with the Boss. He was the guy paying me, so sure enough; I wanted to know him outside of work MENTALLY. I would make small talk, and to this day, I give you permission to call anyone of them and ask honestly, what type of person was Walter? I think maybe I would say maybe 80 % would speak well about our relationship. After a while, I got bored and had to leave. I had an invite to go to Florida and start work fixing Orange Juice Plants for The A Team for the coolest guy in the world B.C. My job as an apprentice was, I welded, fabricated, and grinded my butt off. It was cool and so very different, but I needed to be out and about actually having interaction with other humans that can actually speak back. NOT the metal that I made my friend while talking **** and at the end I won and made it go away, and it was smooth to the touch. I always made work really same like a game I started, and at the end I imagined it as MY HOUSE. Would I BE ABLE TO LIVE with the job I just did seeing it every day in my own personal house? There were a few times when rushing, tired, or hung over that I had to go back and fix the ****** job I just did. After I was bored, I had to bounce to Pennsylvania and work with my Uncle Mark installing Natural Gas line under the ground we walk on working with Henkel’s & McCoy. I was there for TWO weeks bouncing from my house in Jackson to Martins Creek Pennsylvania to work. It was Thanksgiving 2004, AND I THOUGHT it would be O.K. to go home with my mother and sisters and have Thanksgiving Dinner. I was able to relax for a few days and I was Chilin expecting to have a pretty goodtime. Since I was a child and could remember I was always moving from city to city, home to home, with unknown surroundings as well as unknown individuals. Different states, different schools, every year I was the new kid in school. I was always getting in trouble in school (suspension, in school and out of school suspension, detention, among many other humorous problems daily). I was always feeling that I wasn't excepted so I had to act out and be the center of attention. This happened in several schools in several states until my mother signed me out of high school at 16 in Old Bridge New Jersey. So, I worked fulltime because I thought I didn't need school because it was dumb and I was smart. I have had every job under the sun from installing sanding hardwood floors for many friends of my now family, to SHOVELING ****, any job you can think of; I can just about tell you that I have done it. I would work 60 plus hours a week plus go to adult night school to get my high school diploma and I thought I was going about life the correct adult way. I called my sisters father dad until, at 18 I found out that he wasn't my biological father. MY real father Walt stayed away because when he tried coming around his life was threatened with violence and he wasn't able at all to see his son NO DISRESPECT—NOTHING would EVER keep me away from my child—NOTHING EVER IN THIS LIFETIME!. My mother didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. Now I am considered somewhat of a man AT 18, the guy I have been calling dad for years wasn't my father, I found out at 18 that I was being lied to and talk about being lost and confused. I bounced around AS an independent adult living with whoever wherever doing anything for work, and living with anyone that had room for me. I would do chores, pay rent and I thought I was doing good being a good boy who was turning himself into a man doing manly things. I THOUGHT. I did this from New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Florida, and then, I was back in Jersey chilling at my mothers’ living in Jackson, New Jersey. On November 27, 2004 after drinking with others someone had to go to the store. I said “lets walk, there are two stores right around the corner." ROBERT BARRY said" I'm sober, I can drive." I THOUGHT with me in the passenger seat with my seatbelt on, I THOUGHT I was safe." I am not driving, my seatbelts on and ROBERT BARRY said he’s sober and o.k. to drive, so WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME? We wound up a mile and a half down the street in the opposite direction and I was a restrained passenger with a seatbelt versus poles. THE JAWS OF LIFE were needed to get only me out. What happened to the driver you ask? ROBERT BARRY walked away without a scratch or a seatbelt. After I was free, I slipped into a COMA for 8 days. When I awoke, I needed to have brain surgery and the list continues. After I was home, I had to go to the Emergency Room with breathing complications. They gave me a pump and told me I now have Asthma. THANK GOD I met Dr. Sean Houston who while sticking a wire with a camera on it up my nose almost passed out. I asked" what’s wrong?" He told me that I needed Emergency surgery because I had a broken closing esophagus. I asked “what do you mean?" He told me a normal esophagus is about the size of a banana, and I was breathing out of a broken, crushed drinking straw and within 2 days the latest I needed Emergency surgery. He told me the best otolaryngologist around were in the New York area or further north. Being a NEW YORK YANKEES fan, I chose the city area. While recovering from this, my nurse Tara broke it down to me. She asked what my favorite color was. I told her YANKEE blue. She went and got me a bible. AT first I was weary because I didn't believe in GOD. You had to dress a certain way, wear certain clothes, give money, and I thought if you didn’t believe in GOD that you would be punished. I asked her if she could write on the inside because I wasn't going to be able to remember what was going on and what she was saying. This is what she wrote in my bible 3/12/05 To Walter, God has awesome plans for you! Seek him with all your heart and you will be with you. He will prosper you and he will honor you. You may not understand all of this now, but God will do great things in your life. God Bless You Tara . . .again I asked if she could please write more, and on the next page she wrote Hi Walter it was great to be able to take care of you + be your nurse March 12, 2005 is the start of a new day for you. Keep the Lord close in your heart for you are close to his. Not everyone gets a second chance. Remember how you feel him in your heart *know he is with you now and every day. I will pray for you often. May God bless you + fill you with all the wonder he has for you and more. Love Blessings, Tara H… Now once I was blind, and now I can see. Jesus kept me here to speak to thee. Listen if you want my story its real, I got the ****** end of the deal. I realize how God has made all the things I thought were impossible all now be so very obtainable. Listen to how my life was and all the daily tests I had to pass to survive Nov 27th-dec 15 2004 Jersey Shore-Neptune New Jersey CCU Multiple Drs Initially Dec 15-Feb 9 2005 JFK Edison New Jersey Brain trauma unit brain surgery Thomas Jefferson Hospital Philadelphia Pennsylvania March 2006 neck surgery HealthSouth Rehab Jackson New Jersey physical, occupational, speech therapies Little by little we will make this work. Third week in February and I lost my journal somewhere in all my **** for our move to an unknown place. My **** is not going to the ******* Joe Fishs’ anymore because there just so happens to be a mutual dispute. No I have no idea where I or all my **** is going to go. This sucks royally because besides my stupid ****, I have Grandpa’s botchy ball set among many other priceless items that I know the piece of **** will somehow get into a ruin. He’s like a little kid, and he is always on a mission to **** somebody up or somehow inflicts pain onto some innocent soul who tries walking away. Don’t know where my ****, my life, my future are all going to be tomorrow. Lord, I ask of you for assistance in this severe time of need. Lord, please help me. I give one hundred and ten percent everyday since you spared my life. Thank You Lord. I am a new man now. Jesus since you have spared my life, I now see and appreciate life so differently now. I see sunshine and bright lights in my future when its time. “Is it better “someone may ask, and I can defiantly say yes. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, which also means the water bill is higher. Is that a good thing or a bad? I am a new and improved better man now I know how a higher level of appreciation. The reason why is because now I have the ability to wake up all alone with no assistance and take baby steps trying to get through this struggle called life. I now have to call it quits, stop writing and rest my aching body. I tried and I just got some news and tomorrow is already messed up and after I am fortunate enough to open my eyes, I am then taking life daily as you Lord put it right in front of my face. Thank you and goodnight Lord. February 25, 2005 and at therapy I was fortunate enough to be able to take notes home to study #1 Alternating attention task (for days, holidays and try to keep at it for one month straight while keeping on track with diary and notes #2 Reading Comprehension #3 Scanning Cancellation activities shifting sets (symbols) #4 Reviewed strategies (self monitoring) #5 Fill in all appointments for upcoming March calendar March 1, 2005 abs now they tell me to take puffs of this pump so I can breathe. Why do they believe this will be the answer? I live with this and trust me, there’s more to it MARCH 4 2005 Pain (very sharp when there) left clavicle and sharp pain in my head in my temple area real bad suddenly acne on my face. Constant pain in my neck and they say you are o.k. Pain now is in the top back of teeth both sides. Now the 6th and off to a good start even with a really rough feeling inside of my neck. I have been cleaning my T-tube often like the Drs. told me to keep it very clean. It’s weird to breath I have to unplug and to talk; I have to plug it up. My Drs. love the fact that I am proving the hospital and their books to be wrong with my amazing recovery. March 11 and I was now prescribed another type of pill that they believe will help me. I tell them how I am not trying to escape the pain, my goal’s to relieve the pain from my mind and soul forever because my pain is holding me back from telling my story to prevent this from ever happening again. 15 minutes before my mother’s 2005. I am very happy to be back here @ Jefferson hospital in Philly. People are here for the reason and not the season. People actually give a **** here. NICE CHANGE. My life is in the DRS, hands on Tuesday. Whatever he thinks is good at that time is what I'm going to have to live with. GOD and angels please be on my side 4 recoveries and his side 4 operation. Crazy how every day varies like summer and winter. Light above my bed/ head won’t go out. For hours, I've asked everyone and pushed every button and nobody knows how, so you know what, Walters' beat. They are going to have to call maintenance @ 20 to 12 so I can get rest if they will come I have no idea. Now my only option is to take a sleeping pill to get some rest. How else would I possible be able 2 sleeps with this bright light blaring in my face? So be it. IT is what it is. THANKFUL to be alive but after 7 months now on mother’s day I am wondering when life will go straight and normal again for me. It’s mother’s day and I can't call out but my mother knows she’s in my thoughts. I love her to the max and the lady needs a good man and I hope a lot better health. I'm going to try to learn all about Fibromyalgia to see if I can think, create a help or a cure or something for the daily pain that is a non narcotic natural remedy. Maybe an herb or a vegetable that God put on this earth for our health. NIGHT OF MY SURGEORY very much in pain but for me, my maintenance and cleaning around my surgery since it is very important. These people at this hospital make the shittiest feeling, situation feel great. They're all great inside and out. Well, nay all, but I would defiantly have to say the ones that are taken care of me at this time. Thank you to them, God and my angels of course. Walt and my grandfather told me "hold on Buddy, it's not your time”, so I listened, and here I am. My thoughts are with you, grandpa, you have always been my rock, and you buddy are the man who developed me into the man I am today. SO, THANK YOU BUDDY. I am Lucky to be alive and lucky to be here. The DRS are all getting paid, but yet, I am richer than they are TRUTHFULLY Sex drugs and rock and roll is 2nd best in my life. The ability to be here is the cream of the crop. Could be Chilin and hanging with my family up above, but I'm fortunate enough to still be alive with my great family members down here. I have learned to live life as it’s thrown at you. Minute to minute, baby step by baby step, but, I am doing it by the grace of God, which is very fine and really great by me. NOW, I never get my hopes up because when you do, you will get disappointed. Just found out that George Washington was the 1st president to attend ceremony for troops who fought in war in the past On my application to go to rehab at HEALTHSOUTH, I put down the meds I was now taking were: Cymbalta two 20m.g. pills daily Protonix two 40m.g. pills daily One multivitamin 1:20 am on a Friday I believe. As I was walking to take out the recyclables, I heard loud zaps of electricity shooting all inside the box frantically. It really doesn’t sound safe and I am scared. I am always aware and expecting the unexpected. I don’t mean to, it just is in my recovering head. Brook wrote me this poem because words prove that she loves me RIGHT? So she thinks To my brother, Hi! I wrote you a corny little poem just because I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so unbelievably strong & I am honored to be your sister. Just remember I am always here if you need anything Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you & how amazing you are- You are making it through this in a way most people could not & I am so very proud of you! I am not going to pretend that I know what you are going through because I don’t. But I do know it must be hard as hell & I want you to know I am here- But you are getting through this & I know happiness is just around the corner! I love you! XOXO Love Brooklyn Now a few days after and I have no idea and I really don’t care. I keep getting miss directed and lied to and I would love to know why everyone is involved but my love, Lauren (my Caucasian sister) Nancy and Brook keep telling me that I cannot check the mail because I am always losing it. HOW I TRY TO FIGURE? Mail for my mother, I put on her desk in her room and Laurens also goes to her or my mother. So I’m wondering are they implying that I lose my mail when that **** goes right in my files so I can remember and so I don’t lose anything. They keep insisting that I should have all my mail sent to my step father Dave’s’ house. I don’t ever want to be around that guy because he will always judge you while degrading you making you feel like a worthless piece of ****. It’s just like he has been making me feel and treating me during my recovery. How and why can I trust him? Especially after he was too busy when I was homeless? Right now its 11:30 and music is getting me through these tough times again. F that. Though, I can and will make it happen. I BELIEVE this is all happening for a reason and I am going to understand why, all in Gods’ timing. Baby steps Walter, just crawl before you can walk Buddy. Note 2 self, my nasal drainage is constantly filled with always with a cluster of garbage that hangs out in my nose and throat and I am scared that it doesn’t get stuck in my throat and totally close up my breathing passage. But yet, I’m strong enough to rid myself of these unfortunate circumstances from the horrible accident that I survived. How you ask? The power of prayer saved my soul. I am blessed to be able and alive to write about my6 abnormalities. THANKS TO OUR FATHER, CREATOR UP ABOVE. How I wondering am I considered being a lazy man? TO ME, it’s funny how the world says to me to get off your *** lazy ***** and go out a get a job bagging groceries or pushing carts. If they only knew that I want to go to work so badly, inside my head nobody is winning at ping pong. I am using my hands to drink tap water from the faucet. My life isn’t that bad at all. Beginning of April and today is off to a good start. I just had the best banana split ever with my sister Lauren. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t want anything to be different. Walter and Cathy are great people. Cathy is now my nurse and Walter is a guy who delivered my machine with the Oxygen I need to inhale to stay Alive. Both of them are down to earth people and they both have made me feel so comfortable. The chance of all names, his name was Walter and he was sent to save my life. To me that was a sign. Information is out there. Just open your eyes and have Faith. I wish them both the best of health and happiness in life. Both of them and their families only deserve the best in life. Everything outside seems to be flooded and there is more new rain to come, today is a good day I have my family, Cathy and my life. I really can’t ask for anything more. Life itself is grand to me this time around. HEY, I AM ALIVE SO NO WORRIES WALTER. #1 I am trying to get out of neutral and I called a lawyer and told her my story. She said to me “Sir, I am sorry. You have too many problems and I can’t help you. You have nothing and you have no malpractice case.” #2 and I got a check in the mail #3 Kim grew up enough courage and she left the job she has been at for the last three years Brook, who is normal, somewhat is trying to find an apartment and even with my Traumatic Brain Injury, I have been trying to figure out how it’s tough to get a place when she’s got nothing holding her back from finding a place? I was doing it all alone since I was sixteen years old, well, before my accident. When she goes to see them, they are all look like ****. I hope she finds a nice one. She and Bobby only deserve the best. Even though her insurance company is playing innocent and dumb with my case, my goal is to get the Drs. the money owed for saving my life. How could anyone beat those great souls after they saved my dying *** from calling it quits? I wonder? I BELIEVE God, Angels, and Grandpa are all in my corner and on my side. Thank you. I now know that you are in my heart, body and soul. Now, this ability I have, truly, I really can’t ask for anything else. Happiness and love are what it all comes down to. I am fishing here and one day, I will get a bite with a keeper. I just got an amazing card and a Hugh Mr. Goodbar from Brooks’ close friend for years Casey. WOW. Now they threw poor Casey into the mix? I wonder why Brook would do that considering Casey is so sweet and so innocent. Today’s a great day for me. I relaxed with my family and with that said, I couldn’t ask for a better day, ever. Nice finish to a great day. I am all cleaned up, full and satisfied with my family, even though I believe things are happening behind my back that want to help Robert and hurt Walter. Still, I wonder why? Amy D, the girl I was with in Florida at the time of my accident said she was going to call me back in fifteen minutes, but that never happened. It’s all good and I’m not sweating the small ****. I am sure that something came up and somebody came up in her. Why did I even want to bother? This girl had two kids by two different dads that weren’t around and they both called me dad. I asked her to “Please let them know I am not their dad”. She said to me “Walter, I can’t! You treat them so good and they love you so much, it would hurt them.” I said to her “Amy, you are hurting them more by lying too them now because I Amy, I Know firsthand because for eighteen years I was calling some guy dad and there was no blood or any type of connection at all that makes him my dad, and Amy, I am scared badly.” A NEW DAY and I left a note for my mother Nancy and my sister Lauren to PLEASE clean your mess ladies because my social worker Adrianne’s coming to help me try to get out of neutral. Say a prayer for me, Por Favor Lord. Please. By Walter Moryan The day after I removed my own tracheotomy, dr. Spielberg said that everything’s looking great. Since ripping out my own tracheotomy personally, I now feel healthier and I am the happiest I have felt in a long time without that machine in my neck. It’s good to be out of the hospital and be home. Life is well worth living. I wish everyone the best of happiness and love to all. I hope for comfort for me and to the world. A few hours until my 28th birthday and this one all alone seems and ******, but I have my family which is all I need. I have no girl, no job, or no money, but the fact that I am actually alive, is there really anything to ***** about? Thanks again to my Angels up above. 12:25 p.m. and it’s the night before my 2nd surgery. I am praying that all goes well. I am glad that God, Angels and my family were all with me these past seven months since it’s been a crazy, confusing life in and out of every hospital. PLEASE HELP ME to figure out what they are all up to behind my disabled *** I BEG OF YOU LORD Just got a birthday car from ROBERT BARRY JR, the driver He’s the third letter. I’m confused TO A SPECIAL Brother-In-Law ON YOUR BIRTHDAY DEAR WALTER, I Hope you have A great Birthday. This past few months have been crazy but I know that you are Strong enough to pull through everything Happy Birthday WALT. Love you From, BOBBY Printed on the card it reads: This special greeting is coming to let you know how much we enjoy having you in our lives. Our family is a lot more fun because you’re part of it, and out memories are a lot more precious because of all the happy times we’ve shared with you. You’re a very special Brother-In–Law, it’s no wonder we love you like we do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Sounds like they both wrote two cards to me from the base of one. WOW? 2nd week of May. And I am Thankful to be Alive. I am on my way to dr. and physical therapy. Hope all goes well and I hope my life and health are good from here on in. Grandpa is with me and it’s a great feeling to be home not still in the hospital. In a new remolded room. I have this crazy combustion in my throat, but it feels good. Mind over matter I believe everybody makes mistakes because the 1st hospital missed my broken closing esophagus 4 times. NO HARM NO FOUL.2:26a.m. Early morning of the day I'm going back to see Dr. Spiegel and he’s going to check out my tracheotomy and see how long until my T-tube is ready to be removed from my throat. I feel so very comfortable with him as my surgeon and by me now going to live in Philly. A prayer in my head, and hopefully I'm (my neck) is healthy. Scars I can live with, hopefully all is well and on Friday dinner with my family. Brook was here and can't ask for more in a night. Good dinner, good family, good dessert. Good to be alive. I AM SPOILED! While confused and searching Brook drops off this poem to me showing her deep love for me. This to her I take it is an answer to my one & only; I always knew I was lucky to have you as my brother & friend you were always true You & I have always been so close some would say were luckier than most Because we were able to find our best friends in each other exceeding the simple definition of sister & brother We would laugh, cry have the best of times We would run to be by each other’s side at the drop of a dime Now as time goes by I look at you in a different light You are outstanding; astonishing Simply just a remarkable sight You beat all the odds & managed to come out on top All those that doubted you now know you will not stop I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE FOR YOU IF THINGS GOT WORSE But I know that I won’t have to because that is no longer your course Things can only get better from here on out And I can say this without an ounce of doubt Because you are a miracle A true angel from up above & I feel blessed& honored just to have some of your love I love you more than words can say Cause you’re my Ollie burger who amazes me every day So let’s look to the future where happiness is all I see But I must be honest; life could not get any better because you are here with me- -I love you angel- Thursday June 9, 2005 I am listening to beats getting ready for my sister Laurens’ banquet for the amazing grades she has received. I told her “Lauren, you kick *** and job well done by my most beautiful sister of all five. And Lauren you only deserve the best. Strive for excellence. Growing up she had many names such as Lulu, Belle, Crazy, Trazy, Backsteet boys, Monster face. She is turning from a child into a beautiful, driven, goal oriented young woman. She is a family member, friend and just a great, chill person. She’s true and down to earth When I feel loved, a stork dropped off another letter and this one is from the woman I have been calling mother my love -hi WALTER- Saw you in the car w/ Millie . . . Welcome Home!! I had to work a bit late today (that’s why I wasn’t here @3:30) I had to go to Middlesex co- few things to do @ brooks for wedding, plus doo-doo(Lauren) is up there-have to pick her up. If you need to reach me either call Brooks or Laurens’ cell: if I’m not there yet, leave a message-I’ll call u back! Love u MOMMY P.S. PLEEEEAAASE do not shut Ans. Mach OFF THANK YOU (If someone is calling that you don’t want to talk to-just don’t ANSWER or listen to MESSAGE) Thanks AGAIN Sweetie. MISSED YOUR HANDSOME FACE I haven’t really talked to Brook since she married the driver Robert Barry Jr. and out of the blue she sent me a text that said this: Mommy is doing what she’s always been doing; abusing pills and drinking she’s getting bad she doesn’t care what happens to her I haven’t talked to her in two months Idk bout Jesi but her and mom hang out together so I can only imagine. *She got fired from her job at Laurens’ school Lauren was so embarrassed she kept falling asleep because she was so ****** up on pills she w/ some guy she met at a campground I’ve never seen him Now 1:42 * hey I wanted to ask u something the attorney in bobby’s’ case wanted to know if you would write a letter stating that you are alright with bobby just getting probation. I would really appreciate it. If anything else happened to him I wouldn’t be able to live here with the baby because I’m not working and it’s not fair to the baby. But if you can just write a letter saying how you feel and mail it to me you can write whatever you want . . . July 20, 3:04 p.m. If you don’t want to that’s ok to I don’t want nothing to come in between me and you I just figured I would ask. . . 3:18p.m Why should anyone want to be negative or even ***** about minor problems? I am hurting for certain and I try to keep to myself because I realize how I am alive. Thank you to my Lord and my angels. And of course I am chilling with soothing beats. It’s a trip how music keeps on playing in my head all night long. For me, music is the answer and so very essential. Now I am all alone and Just a gigolo by David Lee is on inside of my head. Saying to myself nobody cares about me. Then as I am shutting everything down, I am thinking why do I have to chill? Why can’t I just put my hands up in the air and dance to the beat? February 28th 2007 the last day of this month. I get paid at 12 tonight….NOW MARCH 1 I NEVER GOT PAID. WHY? When I asked they told me that the guy in charge of New Jersey messed up. WOOPS. I am now at Sharis’ house thankfully. She and her two kids, Meanie Madison, and Wacky Jack opened up the entire house and opened the refrigerator to me. Lord, please see that I make it. I was sleeping on a picnic table when the man I have been calling dad JP said “Sorry Walter, my basements flooded so, I have nowhere for you to stay. With both of them having several trucks, a garage, and three regular vehicles, but, NO ROOM. Dave, the guy after Jerry who also owns a Hardwood Flooring company, and who is also a member of the best American Legion post no doubt Post #253 in Spotswood also had many toys, vehicles and he also didn’t have a shed I could rest my head in for a few hours. So he handed me his LINE OF BULLSHIT on how with his 2 jobs, 5 vehicles, 2 houses with garages, HOW HE HAS NO ROOM FOR ME TO CRASH FOR ONE NIGHT. **** You Jerry Petty. Thanks dad, a.k.a. piece of ****. There’s the credit that you want from me. Every day and I wonder why they aren’t asked for identification to show proof that they are royal ******** with no dignity or humanity! When they are then known to be here in the United States of America illegally, they should and need to be deported. I wish I had some type of power so I would be able to help our amazing country. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED TO Walter Moryan and my story the best he can remember in his noggin At sixteen when I dropped out of high school I started sanding and refinishing hard wood floors. I worked for several companies for several close friends. From there I had every job under the sun that u could possibly think of. I needed money immediately so I started waiting tables. From there whatever contractor needed a hand restoring houses I had a day o pay. I even had a job setting up for parties etc... Food, games, tents whatever was needed to have a party. I couldn’t picture doing that for the rest of my life so I pursued heating, air conditioning. That job was not for me either the boss was a complete psycho that discouraged me from moving forward. So, on the road again, I was trying to find my nook in life. I started installing tile flooring because I thought since I had experience that was my calling. Soon after installing tiles 12 hours a day 6 days a week it was back braking work I soon realized that this to was not my calling. Throughout these jobs I always felt deep down that I was here for something more. So I kept digging and digging for my nook in all these jobs. In a nut shell I could build a house from the ground up. I even can do the land scraping around the house I built. For fun I loved to spin old vinyl records. I eventually with a lot of practice built up my skills. I would DJ parties for friends and family I really enjoyed spinning records and wanted to further my education while working during the day and getting my GED at night school . With a lot of hard work I finished night school. I then decided to take it a step further decided to enroll at Brookdale Community College in communications to follow my dreams in the music industry... While in college I saw an opportunity to intern at Jam box studios in Manhattan. I worked in the mornings and went to school and managed to do my internship. At my Uncle Marks house in Pennsylvania I was spinning break beats with trance mixed with Classic Rock. The old school with new school beats. Everyone and their mother was up dancing their ***** off. Smiles and Beats, my type of galaxy I want to chill in 24/ 7. My Two cousins Stephanie and Stacie were going to North Carolina and asked if I wanted to go, move to North Carolina with them and Chicken Butt my nephew? Just start over in a new place? Yes, I shouted excitedly while throwing on Motown. A few hours later, suddenly I had packed my clothes and DJ Equipment into my sister’s hand me down Hyundai Accent. Trust me, it was just me and only me. Trust me it was a long jammed, tough trip. They knew the area, knew the hotspots, and just knew where to go, who to chill with at what day and time. The only question was Do you want to be around Marines or not? I was a Civilian living surrounded by Marines. Needless to say, "God Bless the USA" I felt safe and both of my cousins dated Marines so, you can say that I have really chilled and I was blessed to be able to be in the company of Those Strong Souls. We lived a few minutes from Camp Lejune military base, and work for me was tough. I did whatever I could while living there, Luckily, I Was Blessed. Both Stephanie and Stacy took complete care of me. I was older, but my two female younger cousins took care of me on a daily basis. At then in my life, NOW, I was a Toll Collector for a short while until I realized that it was way too boring for me. All day, I did the same exact thing for over 8 hours a day. That same constant repetition was making me LOCO. So, I found the hot spot in town called Logins Steakhouse. You can drink a Roadhouse ice tea, watch your steak being cooked right in front of your face, eat peanuts and throw your shells on the ground. NO WORRIES, it was cool and you were expected. It was that kind of chill place. I was a bareback, host, server, dishwasher, pretty much, whatever I could do to get a days’ pay, and I was there with bells on. Well, I don't know about with bells on, but I was there early ready to put on my galoshes and walk through the ****. S h h + be quite, that’s not nice First, I would get cool with the Boss. He was the guy paying me, so sure enough; I wanted to know him outside of work MENTALLY. I would make small talk, and to this day, I give you permission to call anyone of them and ask honestly, what type of person was Walter? I think maybe I would say maybe 80 % would speak well about our relationship. After a while, I got bored and had to leave. I had an invite to go to Florida and start work fixing Orange Juice Plants for The A Team for the coolest guy in the world B.C. My job as an apprentice was, I welded, fabricated, and grinded my butt off. It was cool and so very different, but I needed to be out and about actually having interaction with other humans that can actually speak back. NOT the metal that I made my friend while talking **** and at the end I won and made it go away, and it was smooth to the touch. I always made work really same like a game I started, and at the end I imagined it as MY HOUSE. Would I BE ABLE TO LIVE with the job I just did seeing it every day in my own personal house? There were a few times when rushing, tired, or hung over that I had to go back and fix the ****** job I just did. After I was bored, I had to bounce to Pennsylvania and work with my Uncle Mark installing Natural Gas line under the ground we walk on working with Henkel’s & McCoy. I was there for TWO weeks bouncing from my house in Jackson to Martins Creek Pennsylvania to work. It was Thanksgiving 2004, AND I THOUGHT it would be O.K. to go home with my mother and sisters and have Thanksgiving Dinner. I was able to relax for a few days and I was Chilin expecting to have a pretty goodtime. Since I was a child and could remember I was always moving from city to city, home to home, with unknown surroundings as well as unknown individuals. Different states, different schools, every year I was the new kid in school. I was always getting in trouble in school (suspension, in school and out of school suspension, detention, among many other humorous problems daily). I was always feeling that I wasn't excepted so I had to act out and be the center of attention. This happened in several schools in several states until my mother signed me out of high school at 16 in Old Bridge New Jersey. So, I worked fulltime because I thought I didn't need school because it was dumb and I was smart. I have had every job under the sun from installing sanding hardwood floors for many friends of my now family, to SHOVELING ****, any job you can think of; I can just about tell you that I have done it. I would work 60 plus hours a week plus go to adult night school to get my high school diploma and I thought I was going about life the correct adult way. I called my sisters father dad until, at 18 I found out that he wasn't my biological father. MY real father Walt stayed away because when he tried coming around his life was threatened with violence and he wasn't able at all to see his son NO DISRESPECT—NOTHING would EVER keep me away from my child—NOTHING EVER IN THIS LIFETIME!. My mother didn't tell me because she didn't want to hurt my feelings. Now I am considered somewhat of a man AT 18, the guy I have been calling dad for years wasn't my father, I found out at 18 that I was being lied to and talk about being lost and confused. I bounced around AS an independent adult living with whoever wherever doing anything for work, and living with anyone that had room for me. I would do chores, pay rent and I thought I was doing good being a good boy who was turning himself into a man doing manly things. I THOUGHT. I did this from New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Florida, and then, I was back in Jersey chilling at my mothers’ living in Jackson, New Jersey. On November 27, 2004 after drinking with others someone had to go to the store. I said “lets walk, there are two stores right around the corner." ROBERT BARRY said" I'm sober, I can drive." I THOUGHT with me in the passenger seat with my seatbelt on, I THOUGHT I was safe." I am not driving, my seatbelts on and ROBERT BARRY said he’s sober and o.k. to drive, so WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME? We wound up a mile and a half down the street in the opposite direction and I was a restrained passenger with a seatbelt versus poles. THE JAWS OF LIFE were needed to get only me out. What happened to the driver you ask? ROBERT BARRY walked away without a scratch or a seatbelt. After I was free, I slipped into a COMA for 8 days. When I awoke, I needed to have brain surgery and the list continues. After I was home, I had to go to the Emergency Room with breathing complications. They gave me a pump and told me I now have Asthma. THANK GOD I met Dr. Sean Houston who while sticking a wire with a camera on it up my nose almost passed out. I asked" what’s wrong?" He told me that I needed Emergency surgery because I had a broken closing esophagus. I asked “what do you mean?" He told me a normal esophagus is about the size of a banana, and I was breathing out of a broken, crushed drinking straw and within 2 days the latest I needed Emergency surgery. He told me the best otolaryngologist around were in the New York area or further north. Being a NEW YORK YANKEES fan, I chose the city area. While recovering from this, my nurse Tara broke it down to me. She asked what my favorite color was. I told her YANKEE blue. She went and got me a bible. AT first I was weary because I didn't believe in GOD. You had to dress a certain way, wear certain clothes, give money, and I thought if you didn’t believe in GOD that you would be punished. I asked her if she could write on the inside because I wasn't going to be able to remember what was going on and what she was saying. This is what she wrote in my bible 3/12/05 To Walter, God has awesome plans for you! Seek him with all your heart and you will be with you. He will prosper you and he will honor you. You may not understand all of this now, but God will do great things in your life. God Bless You Tara . . .again I asked if she could please write more, and on the next page she wrote Hi Walter it was great to be able to take care of you + be your nurse March 12, 2005 is the start of a new day for you. Keep the Lord close in your heart for you are close to his. Not everyone gets a second chance. Remember how you feel him in your heart *know he is with you now and every day. I will pray for you often. May God bless you + fill you with all the wonder he has for you and more. Love Blessings, Tara H… Now once I was blind, and now I can see. Jesus kept me here to speak to thee. Listen if you want my story its real, I got the ****** end of the deal. I realize how God has made all the things I thought were impossible all now be so very obtainable. Listen to how my life was and all the daily tests I had to pass to survive Nov 27th-dec 15 2004 Jersey Shore-Neptune New Jersey CCU Multiple Drs Initially Dec 15-Feb 9 2005 JFK Edison New Jersey Brain trauma unit brain surgery Thomas Jefferson Hospital Philadelphia Pennsylvania March 2006 neck surgery HealthSouth Rehab Jackson New Jersey physical, occupational, speech therapies Little by little we will make this work. Third week in February and I lost my journal somewhere in all my **** for our move to an unknown place. My **** is not going to the ******* Joe Fishs’ anymore because there just so happens to be a mutual dispute. No I have no idea where I or all my **** is going to go. This sucks royally because besides my stupid ****, I have Grandpa’s botchy ball set among many other priceless items that I know the piece of **** will somehow get into a ruin. He’s like a little kid, and he is always on a mission to **** somebody up or somehow inflicts pain onto some innocent soul who tries walking away. Don’t know where my ****, my life, my future are all going to be tomorrow. Lord, I ask of you for assistance in this severe time of need. Lord, please help me. I give one hundred and ten percent everyday since you spared my life. Thank You Lord. I am a new man now. Jesus since you have spared my life, I now see and appreciate life so differently now. I see sunshine and bright lights in my future when its time. “Is it better “someone may ask, and I can defiantly say yes. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, which also means the water bill is higher. Is that a good thing or a bad? I am a new and improved better man now I know how a higher level of appreciation. The reason why is because now I have the ability to wake up all alone with no assistance and take baby steps trying to get through this struggle called life. I now have to call it quits, stop writing and rest my aching body. I tried and I just got some news and tomorrow is already messed up and after I am fortunate enough to open my eyes, I am then taking life daily as you Lord put it right in front of my face. Thank you and goodnight Lord. February 25, 2005 and at therapy I was fortunate enough to be able to take notes home to study #1 Alternating attention task (for days, holidays and try to keep at it for one month straight while keeping on track with diary and notes #2 Reading Comprehension #3 Scanning Cancellation activities shifting sets (symbols) #4 Reviewed strategies (self monitoring) #5 Fill in all appointments for upcoming March calendar March 1, 2005 abs now they tell me to take puffs of this pump so I can breathe. Why do they believe this will be the answer? I live with this and trust me, there’s more to it MARCH 4 2005 Pain (very sharp when there) left clavicle and sharp pain in my head in my temple area real bad suddenly acne on my face. Constant pain in my neck and they say you are o.k. Pain now is in the top back of teeth both sides. Now the 6th and off to a good start even with a really rough feeling inside of my neck. I have been cleaning my T-tube often like the Drs. told me to keep it very clean. It’s weird to breath I have to unplug and to talk; I have to plug it up. My Drs. love the fact that I am proving the hospital and their books to be wrong with my amazing recovery. March 11 and I was now prescribed another type of pill that they believe will help me. I tell them how I am not trying to escape the pain, my goal’s to relieve the pain from my mind and soul forever because my pain is holding me back from telling my story to prevent this from ever happening again. 15 minutes before my mother’s 2005. I am very happy to be back here @ Jefferson hospital in Philly. People are here for the reason and not the season. People actually give a **** here. NICE CHANGE. My life is in the DRS, hands on Tuesday. Whatever he thinks is good at that time is what I'm going to have to live with. GOD and angels please be on my side 4 recoveries and his side 4 operation. Crazy how every day varies like summer and winter. Light above my bed/ head won’t go out. For hours, I've asked everyone and pushed every button and nobody knows how, so you know what, Walters' beat. They are going to have to call maintenance @ 20 to 12 so I can get rest if they will come I have no idea. Now my only option is to take a sleeping pill to get some rest. How else would I possible be able 2 sleeps with this bright light blaring in my face? So be it. IT is what it is. THANKFUL to be alive but after 7 months now on mother’s day I am wondering when life will go straight and normal again for me. It’s mother’s day and I can't call out but my mother knows she’s in my thoughts. I love her to the max and the lady needs a good man and I hope a lot better health. I'm going to try to learn all about Fibromyalgia to see if I can think, create a help or a cure or something for the daily pain that is a non narcotic natural remedy. Maybe an herb or a vegetable that God put on this earth for our health. NIGHT OF MY SURGEORY very much in pain but for me, my maintenance and cleaning around my surgery since it is very important. These people at this hospital make the shittiest feeling, situation feel great. They're all great inside and out. Well, nay all, but I would defiantly have to say the ones that are taken care of me at this time. Thank you to them, God and my angels of course. Walt and my grandfather told me "hold on Buddy, it's not your time”, so I listened, and here I am. My thoughts are with you, grandpa, you have always been my rock, and you buddy are the man who developed me into the man I am today. SO, THANK YOU BUDDY. I am Lucky to be alive and lucky to be here. The DRS are all getting paid, but yet, I am richer than they are TRUTHFULLY Sex drugs and rock and roll is 2nd best in my life. The ability to be here is the cream of the crop. Could be Chilin and hanging with my family up above, but I'm fortunate enough to still be alive with my great family members down here. I have learned to live life as it’s thrown at you. Minute to minute, baby step by baby step, but, I am doing it by the grace of God, which is very fine and really great by me. NOW, I never get my hopes up because when you do, you will get disappointed. Just found out that George Washington was the 1st president to attend ceremony for troops who fought in war in the past On my application to go to rehab at HEALTHSOUTH, I put down the meds I was now taking were: Cymbalta two 20m.g. pills daily Protonix two 40m.g. pills daily One multivitamin 1:20 am on a Friday I believe. As I was walking to take out the recyclables, I heard loud zaps of electricity shooting all inside the box frantically. It really doesn’t sound safe and I am scared. I am always aware and expecting the unexpected. I don’t mean to, it just is in my recovering head. Brook wrote me this poem because words prove that she loves me RIGHT? So she thinks To my brother, Hi! I wrote you a corny little poem just because I want to tell you how proud I am of you. You are so unbelievably strong & I am honored to be your sister. Just remember I am always here if you need anything Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you & how amazing you are- You are making it through this in a way most people could not & I am so very proud of you! I am not going to pretend that I know what you are going through because I don’t. But I do know it must be hard as hell & I want you to know I am here- But you are getting through this & I know happiness is just around the corner! I love you! XOXO Love Brooklyn Now a few days after and I have no idea and I really don’t care. I keep getting miss directed and lied to and I would love to know why everyone is involved but my love, Lauren (my Caucasian sister) Nancy and Brook keep telling me that I cannot check the mail because I am always losing it. HOW I TRY TO FIGURE? Mail for my mother, I put on her desk in her room and Laurens also goes to her or my mother. So I’m wondering are they implying that I lose my mail when that **** goes right in my files so I can remember and so I don’t lose anything. They keep insisting that I should have all my mail sent to my step father Dave’s’ house. I don’t ever want to be around that guy because he will always judge you while degrading you making you feel like a worthless piece of ****. It’s just like he has been making me feel and treating me during my recovery. How and why can I trust him? Especially after he was too busy when I was homeless? Right now its 11:30 and music is getting me through these tough times again. F that. Though, I can and will make it happen. I BELIEVE this is all happening for a reason and I am going to understand why, all in Gods’ timing. Baby steps Walter, just crawl before you can walk Buddy. Note 2 self, my nasal drainage is constantly filled with always with a cluster of garbage that hangs out in my nose and throat and I am scared that it doesn’t get stuck in my throat and totally close up my breathing passage. But yet, I’m strong enough to rid myself of these unfortunate circumstances from the horrible accident that I survived. How you ask? The power of prayer saved my soul. I am blessed to be able and alive to write about my6 abnormalities. THANKS TO OUR FATHER, CREATOR UP ABOVE. How I wondering am I considered being a lazy man? TO ME, it’s funny how the world says to me to get off your *** lazy ***** and go out a get a job bagging groceries or pushing carts. If they only knew that I want to go to work so badly, inside my head nobody is winning at ping pong. I am using my hands to drink tap water from the faucet. My life isn’t that bad at all. Beginning of April and today is off to a good start. I just had the best banana split ever with my sister Lauren. At this point in my life, I wouldn’t want anything to be different. Walter and Cathy are great people. Cathy is now my nurse and Walter is a guy who delivered my machine with the Oxygen I need to inhale to stay Alive. Both of them are down to earth people and they both have made me feel so comfortable. The chance of all names, his name was Walter and he was sent to save my life. To me that was a sign. Information is out there. Just open your eyes and have Faith. I wish them both the best of health and happiness in life. Both of them and their families only deserve the best in life. Everything outside seems to be flooded and there is more new rain to come, today is a good day I have my family, Cathy and my life. I really can’t ask for anything more. Life itself is grand to me this time around. HEY, I AM ALIVE SO NO WORRIES WALTER. #1 I am trying to get out of neutral and I called a lawyer and told her my story. She said to me “Sir, I am sorry. You have too many problems and I can’t help you. You have nothing and you have no malpractice case.” #2 and I got a check in the mail #3 Kim grew up enough courage and she left the job she has been at for the last three years Brook, who is normal, somewhat is trying to find an apartment and even with my Traumatic Brain Injury, I have been trying to figure out how it’s tough to get a place when she’s got nothing holding her back from finding a place? I was doing it all alone since I was sixteen years old, well, before my accident. When she goes to see them, they are all look like ****. I hope she finds a nice one. She and Bobby only deserve the best. Even though her insurance company is playing innocent and dumb with my case, my goal is to get the Drs. the money owed for saving my life. How could anyone beat those great souls after they saved my dying *** from calling it quits? I wonder? I BELIEVE God, Angels, and Grandpa are all in my corner and on my side. Thank you. I now know that you are in my heart, body and soul. Now, this ability I have, truly, I really can’t ask for anything else. Happiness and love are what it all comes down to. I am fishing here and one day, I will get a bite with a keeper. I just got an amazing card and a Hugh Mr. Goodbar from Brooks’ close friend for years Casey. WOW. Now they threw poor Casey into the mix? I wonder why Brook would do that considering Casey is so sweet and so innocent. Today’s a great day for me. I relaxed with my family and with that said, I couldn’t ask for a better day, ever. Nice finish to a great day. I am all cleaned up, full and satisfied with my family, even though I believe things are happening behind my back that want to help Robert and hurt Walter. Still, I wonder why? Amy D, the girl I was with in Florida at the time of my accident said she was going to call me back in fifteen minutes, but that never happened. It’s all good and I’m not sweating the small ****. I am sure that something came up and somebody came up in her. Why did I even want to bother? This girl had two kids by two different dads that weren’t around and they both called me dad. I asked her to “Please let them know I am not their dad”. She said to me “Walter, I can’t! You treat them so good and they love you so much, it would hurt t
By:
WAM
Age:
31-35
