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Someone As Amazing As Me

Ever since I can remember I danced. My father was a salsa champion. Its in my blood. My mother always said I had a good ear, I even danced to the dryer while she was doing her laundry when I was two years old.

Growing up I've always done sports as well as books. I was weird. But I was always dancing. In school I took dancing lessons, after school jazz-ballet.

I also had friends who did more ethnic dances from Puerto Rico and around the world. It made my dancing more complete.

After school I used to move the sofa and put the music loud before my parents came. (Sometimes while they were in the house) Dancing was my personal cure. It gave me what nothing did.

When I married, I took my husband dancing. Well when we were dating. I don't know if it was the alcohol or that he was self-conscious. He didn't even know how to dance..."my sister dances better than you..." I felt like an idiot. It made me believe that I wasn't a good dancer and that maybe I thought of myself as a great dancer and that I was in denial...in short it became harder to dance because I was afraid to show anyone my dancing. Except while drunk... Then I got fatter and then I got pregnant... ultimately I had a c-section and my depression began. I got to be 300 pounds. It wasn't until I got to feel alive after a conversation I had with someone that I got home and started dancing. After losing my first fifteen pounds I left my ex and my journey began. I danced my pain away, with beautiful music that made me sweat away the pain of losing myself. Of letting someone that had no care nor respect for himself... allowing them to get me.... allowing myself to get hurt. Allowing myself not to feel beautiful. I understood then, maybe I wasn't a proffessional, but it was something I loved doing. I wasn't going to let anyone, man nor woman make me feel less than what I know I am. I give myself value. I will not be with another man unless he's nothing short than amazing... a man with confidence to know I'm not a ******** nor a showoff. A man that doesn't think od me as a prize either. Someone who will let my soul be soothed by the power of music and not just his crotch. I am a woman after all. ;) If you let someone, you let them go. In my case, if he loves me, he would let my dancing up to me. An amazing guy who will also have his own passion, like whatever, something that's his. And I can enjoy watchinh hom doing his passion... nothing short of amazing.
GiselaMaria8 GiselaMaria8 26-30, F Feb 11, 2013

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