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Friends In High Places (parody, Original Lyrics)

I've been writing song parodies and stuffing them in a shoebox for a number of years now. Here's one written to Garth Brook's "Friends in Low Places". Eventually, I will throw this and others up on youtube, as soon as I can figure out how to use my early Christmas present to myself, some voice editing software, well enough to make myself sound less like a muppet. Or more like a muppet. We'll see.

I heard mallards and coots
Ducks I thought I'd shoot
As I breathed in the fresh evening air
A star 'gan to grow
And I gazed as it's glow
Grew to kaliedescope glare
And those lights in the skies
Well they blinded my eyes
And I knew this was no normal plane
And I swear that it's true
This could happen to you
Better listen when you hear me say

'Cause I was beamed on a shiny spaceship
Where they put their probes
In your probeless places
That I won't say
But it ain't ok
They tagged my ear with a spacey stapler
Then they flipped my lid and zapped my brain
Oh I know this - it sounds insane

Then they left me there
In my underwear
Covered in alien spores
I looked such a sight
All those ducks took to flight
And I made my way back to the shore
Hey, I told police, radio, and tv
They all laughed for an hour, but then
I got a call from that ol' rag Enquirer
It's putting my story to pen

'Cause I was beamed on a shiny spaceship
Where they put their probes in your probeless places
That I won't say
They got my DNA
They tagged my ear with a spacey stapler
Then they flipped my lid and zapped my brain
Oh I know this - it sounds insane

The last stanza get's repeated a bunch of times at the end of the original song, which is great in a serious song but seems to me like a bad idea in a comedic version. I mean, you might think it's funny the first time through, but by the sixth or seventh time it gets old. To get around this, this is my version of the ending.

The last stanza gets repeated, but the tempo increases so that with each repeat it is spoken faster. The volume slowly fades, so that by the time it reaches an auctioneer's pace the song fades out. A bit before this time, there is alien chatter that starts in quietly and slowly increases in volume. I'm thinking that there should be a bunch of alien voices, so it's like you are walking into an alien party, or space bar. The last twist is that as the alien voices become louder, they slowly begin to transform from gibberish to quacking, to kind of tie back to the duck hunter opening.

It may be hard to envision, but it sounds really good in my mind. I only hope that I can do it justice.

Pelicorn Pelicorn 41-45, M Dec 10, 2011

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