Suicide Note

Starring at my food but I can not eat it,
Laying in my bed but I am not sleeping,
Crying in my room and I keep it top secret,
Because people tell me they care but they do not mean it
Im cut open even thought Iam not bleeding,
My heart is broken so imma make it stop beating,
Someone in the room and scream,

He`s not breathing,
Rush to the hospital to have a doc treat it,
But he cannot beat it, there`s no time at all,
Cause I just popped some pills with some Tylenol,
And 3 bottles of antidepressants and Zam Booka,

40 also got killed I didn`t puke up, anything.
There`s no use in pumping my stomach,
Cause I`ll just do it again,
I`m a lost cause so **** it.

Everyone with grudges towards me,
Is gonna love this.
Smiles on their faces when my death goes public

Cause I`m killing myself,
Takking matters to my own hands ...
I can`t picture myself as a grown man...
I don`t wanna grow up ...
I hate change and everything`s just so ...
Rearranged.

My life is nothing but a dissaster ...
And time keeps going by faster ...
But in a second all that **** wont matter ...

**** this imma kill myself.


I got cocky.
But I wanna die, not gonna lie ...
Thoughts of suicide keep crossing ...
My mind on a regular basis ...

Going craz Cause I`m going trought bull **** ...
On a regular basis ...

Look me in the face, I`m I`sick in my eyes...
Cause I`m sick in the mind ...

I`ve been wishing to die ever since I was 9.
This isn`t a lie ...
I don`t ***** just to whine or
Bullshit just to rhyme about it.

I don`t cry just to spit,
Just to try to quilt trip ...
Cause I could give two ***** about your pity...

I ain`t trying to get everyone to feel bad for me,
I`d rather dis everyone and make y`all mad at me ...
I ain`t a happy person and I ain`t that light.
Not even by myself.
I know I ain`t that nice...

But people don`t understand how much ...
I hate my life ...
Cause if they did they`d know how...
Bad I want to take this knife and be ...
Killing myself,
Taking matters to my own hands.
I can`t picture myself as a grown man.

I don`t wanna grow up...
I hate change and everything`s just so rearranged ...

My life`s nothing but a disaster,
And time keeps going by faster ...
But in a second all that **** wont matter,
**** this imma kill myself ...

I quit, I`m bailing, I`m done ...
I finally give up,
I`m sick of failing and I`m done trying to live up ...
To the expectations everyone has set for me ..
And trying to explain to myself ...
Always questioning about my destination ...
**** my destiny ...

No more realitionships ...
My friends are all dead to me ...
My head is aching, I don`t have any energy ...
I`m patiently waiting for the day ...
That I can rest in peace ...
And this medication is the reason ...
That I don`t get no sleep ...
It ain`t worth taking, so why`s it...
Taste so nice to me?

They ain`t my friends
»you`re a retarded **** up« ...
Maybe killing myself will
Make you retards shut up!!!

Cause I only do it once in a while ...
At times when I forget how to ******* smile ...
I hate being belittled when y`all act like youre ...
Looking out for me ...
If you were looking out of me then ...
I wouldn`t bout to be ...

Killing myself,
Taking matters to my own hands.
I can`t picture myself as a grown man.
I don`t wanna grow up...
I hate change and everything`s just so rearranged ...
My life`s nothing but a disaster,
And time keeps going by faster ...
But in a second all that **** wont matter,
**** this imma kill myself ...

When the times comes ...
I`ll be crying then ...
I`ll have to get a hold of myself ...

Call all my friends and say goodbye to them ...
Then get high and then ...
Call up all my friends again and say goodbye again ...
And cry again ...

Stop crying ...
Smile ...
Find a pen ...
Write down some last words...
Somebody will find them ...
When I`m in heaven ...
Looking down on them ...

Or who knows ...
The way ****`s been going maybe Hell`s ...
Looking up for them ...
But either way I`m watcing ...
I`m waiting their reaction ...

Suddenly someone walks in ...
Wait they ain`t laughing ...
They read it and start crying ...
They actually do care ...
I`m schocked, I can`t believe they`re ...
Sad that I ain`t there ...


They miss me...
Man what a horrible m istake I made ...
And i can`t take it back ...
Its`s way to late ...

If only I could realive my life ...
I`d re-make this song ...
Rewrite the hook and it would be like ...


Life ****,
but I`m taking matters to my own hands ...
I can picture myself as a grown man ...
I wanna grow up I can dealwith change ...
Even if everything gets rearranged ...

Maybe my life`s a disaster ...
and time keeps goin`g by faster ...
But now I can see all that **** dont matter ...

**** that imma live my life!
ADemonsFate ADemonsFate
18-21, M
Jan 6, 2013