Not Who I Was

amazing escape. music transcends into ears and lifts off the brain waves into unimaginable depths of train of thought. i love the way christian songs, especially this one encaptures the ideals of my present, the notion that change is okay and that coping is tough but our chemical make-up. faults and wrongings transpire as we attempt to fix them, a cycle proving that with bad must come good, jesus died for this and god acknowledges this and our repent as we make these challenging mistakes. why does child bearing hurt, why is sex so pleasureable yet cause reproduction even when we don't want babies, why are women so feminine and demanding, and men so power hungry and reserved? this was the plan. temptations made so we might yearn for them but soon  find they aren't the answer, we must seek purity and humility in order to make it past this tiny timeline on physical earth. this song radiates this idea. i used to have a loose grasp and now am a strong woman seeing mistake as fortune, limbs as blessings and lungs as captivating entities necessary for breath to further explore this spiritual adventure.

LYRICS (brandon heath, im not who i was)


I wish you could see me now,
I wish I could show you how,
I'm not who i was.

I used to be mad at you.
A little on the hurt-side too,
But I'm not who I was.

I found my way around,
to forgivin' you, some-time-ago,
But I never got to tell you...


I found us in a photograph,
I saw me and I had to laugh,
Ya' know, I'm not who I was.

you were there you were right above me,
and I wonder if you ever loved me.
Just for who I was.

When the pain came back again;
like a bitter friend.
It was all that I could do,
To keep myself from blaming you.


Thinkin' it's a funny thing,
I figured out I can sing,
Now I'm not who i was
Find More lyrics at

I write about love and such,
maybe 'cause, I want it so much,
I'm not who I was

I was thinkin' maybe I,
should let you know,
that I am not the same,
But I never did forget your name.


Ooo, a-nah-nah-nah-nah-NAH-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah

But the thing that I find most amazing,
in amazing grace,
Is the chance to give it out,
Maybe that's what love is all about.

I wish you could see me now,
I wish I could show you how,
I'm not who I was.

tessagirl tessagirl
18-21, F
Feb 18, 2009