Oh, The Crazy Things That I Have Put Up My ***!

I was just eight years old in the summer of 1974. We lived at the very end of a dead end street. Beyond the end of the street was a tree line about thirty yards wide that surrounded a large peat bog that had open fields, a stream and a couple of small lakes and then still more deeper woods around it. We lived on the south end of the bog. To the west were other dead end streets and one small horse farm with a grazing field for the horses. The grazing field was surrounded with electrified fencing. Bordering the far east side was the Stark County Ohio fairgrounds. The north was bordered by a dense woods about 150 yards that ran right up to 12th avenue in North Canton.

The street next to ours on the east was shorter than ours. So about one third of the way up the block from our duplex on the opposite side of the street was a trail that went through the woods from the end of the driveway of a larger apartment complex to the end of the other street. Off to the northeast of that trail was an area that people had used as a dump for many years. It has long since been cleaned up but back then you could go dump diving there and find all kinds of interesting things. One day I was in the dump picking through the junk there and I got tired so I spied a bulldozer that was there and the seat was calling to me. I climbed up up onto it and sat in the seat relaxing for a moment. I looked around and saw that no one could see me from where I was and my anus was itching so I unzipped my shorts and stuck my right hand down there and itched it with my middle finger. It felt so good.

For some strange reason I got the idea to smell my finger so I pulled it out and put it to my nose. It was clean but it smelled faintly sweet so I decided to try tasting it! I put it into my mouth and licked it. I really couldn't distinguish any taste other than the salty taste of my finger but now my finger was coated with my spit. So I reached back down and slid it up inside my *** and wiggled it around up there. I thought "this feels really great"! I pulled it out and it was now considerably dryer than it was before so I wiped it off and zipped up and went back home.

Later that afternoon I was in my room getting ready for a stay over at a friends house. I pulled out my flashlight and checked the batteries. They were as dead as a doornail so I went to the drawer and got some new ones to replace them with. I got out four new batteries and replaced them in the flashlight. Now it was working great. Back then everyone just tossed the spent batteries but I suddenly got the crazy idea to try putting one of them up my ***!

I shut my door and lay on the bed with my shorts around my ankles as I relaxed and slowly eased it in. I was surprised at how easy it was. But I was even more surprised at the feeling of being filled with it when my sphincter started to close around the end of it as it disappeared inside my ***! It was pressing on my prostrate and when my sphincter twitched closed around the last of it I nearly had an ******! I was so rock hard by now and my pre *** was pooling in my belly button (I have an inny). So I pulled my crank a few times and shot a big gooey load on my belly. Now I had two problems. I had to clean up my mess in the bathroom across the hall without being seen by my mother or younger sister and I had to get that D sized battery out of my *** and throw it away. It was like mission impossible but we did it. I managed to somehow sprint across the hallway with my shorts around my ankles, and not drip any of my wad on the carpeting on the way there. I shut the door and locked it. I cleaned up and then I had to relax and **** out the dead D sized battery into the toilet bowl. To my dismay, it was wearing a little turd hat on the positive end. So I wiped my *** clean and then I had to flush the toilet and act like I was washing my hands in the sink while I was washing the battery. Well, I couldn't just toss it in the trash can wearing a turd baret one end of it now could I. Someone's nose might discover it after all. Then I had to wash my hands of course. Mission accomplished.

That was the beginning of my *** adventures. I didn't have a vibrator to use so I just used the spent power source for one as a ***** instead! Of course I was curious about having a real penis in my *** after that because the battery had felt so damned good in there. I figured that a real erect penis would feel even better. So I would seek out opportunities with neighborhood boys that were my age that were my friends. I would invite them over on the weekends for a sleepover and we would play with them after we were supposed to be sleeping. I would suck their ***** and have them try to penetrate my *** with their hard ******. I wanted to feel them inside of me. And the thought of them ******* inside of me aroused me so much. But that wouldn't happen for another few years yet. They would get nervous and go soft, or they were just not comfortable with the idea of ******* another guy. But a few of them would let me perfect my ******** technique on them! I ate several tasty loads of *** from the neighborhood boys that were my friends.

I used to secretly steal a tampon or two from my mother's box in the linen closet in the bathroom every now and then and place them up my ***! I loved having that string dangling down to pull it out with later as I was jacking off. I usually smelled the unwrapped tampon as I was jacking off because the feminine scent on them excited me even more. That always gave me a rousing ******.

About a year and a half later in the winter I was going out early to do my paper route when I got some terrible cramps and had to return to the house. My mother asked me if I had had a bowel movement yet that morning. I said that I had not. So she decided that she would give me an enema. She had me pull my pants and underwear completely off and lay flat on the bathroom floor as she prepared the water for the bag. She then placed the tip in my *** and asked if I was ready. I said sure. I was in such great pain I would have done anything at this point. I tried to turn my head to see what she was doing but my cramps hurt so much that I just looked back at the floor. I heard a few clicks and felt a rush of warm water filling up my colon. She asked how I was doing. I shot back that I was still in pain, but secretly I reveled in the feeling of having my colon filled with warm water. That actually felt wonderful and it instantly gave me a hard on. Like a good soldier he rose to the occasion. Even as my extreme pain was coming from higher up in my abdomen, my colon was in heaven! After a few minutes she said that she was going to pull the enema out and that I should hold in the water for as long as I could. She removed the tip and I thought that I was going to spray all over the wall before getting up off of the floor. I told her that it was all I could do to keep that water in. So she told me to stay there as she put the bag down in the sink and helped me up and over to the toilet to expel the water. As soon as I got on the toilet I let it rip and was amazed at just how much water she had put into me! It kept coming out for a few minutes and then I was empty. She did not ask about my erection as I didn't care what it was doing while I was concentrating on holding my sphincter shut and keeping the water in as she had told me to. My ***** was sticking up between my legs, standing at attention. "Here I am, reporting for duty sir", it seemed to say. I was annoyed by its antics but not enough to be embarrassed enough to try stuffing it down into the bowl between my legs as it would have required me to lift my *** off of that toilet seat and I was not sure if I was really done expelling the enema water just yet.

All the while, that damned extreme abdominal pain persisted until I farted suddenly! I have never released so much gas before or after that day. There was so much gas that I could feel it rushing up out of the toilet bowl between my legs and off my wet ***! Gas kept coming out for about four or five seconds! The pain was now instantly gone, and so was Sergeant *****. I began laughing uncontrollably and I noticed my mother was too! We laughed for about five minutes or so. Now my sides were hurting from laughing so damned hard!

That was my introduction to enema play! I really liked the way the enema felt going in and coming out too! It was something that I would secretly do to myself whenever I was alone and I would jack off of course. I also realized the value of having a clean *** for another man to lick or **** and I took advantage of that cleansing frequently over the years since.

Of course, I love the big vibrators, ****** and vibrating ******, vibrating butt plugs too. I have yet to try an electro-sex butt plug. I have seen other men really get off with electro-sex toys. I may try one of those large electric pickles next! I would also like to have two big black ***** **** my *** at the same time too one day! If I ever get that far, I may just have someone fist me too! I have also seen ***** attachments for a cordless drill (that requires a partner you trust a lot however). I have had a few men with tongues like Gene Simmons that have tongue ****** my ***! Wow that was hot too. By the way, he has made rank and is now Master Sergeant *****, and he still regularly musters for duty!
AshleighB AshleighB
41-45, T
3 Responses Jun 10, 2011

you reminding with my young self i stuffed all kinds of things in there, pens, batteries, tooth brush, bottles, it's a long list

good reading, i too love all kinds of ob<x>jects...

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very nice i am hard from reading it awesome