My Own Pumpkin To Sit On Than A Crowded Couch

For countless years, growing up through childhood and even joining religion, which I recently broke free from - there was such a huge pressure to be with people all the time always doing things "a bunch of busy bodies". Which when i tried to engage I felt torn because as much as it pleased others being with others and I loved the appreciation i received from others, I felt I was cheating on myself not being who I was. But after a while of doing the same routine facade bullshit especially in church, it really forced me to cut the **** and be honest with myself. Once I started to think for myself, I found that it was OK to be solitary.

I am not a complete recluse as I have a wife and son, acquaintanceship, and a job that requires talking to people all day. I like people but i like them from a distance. Especially in today's society, its a madhouse of crazy business in everything with everyone. This is the extrovert addiction, full of needy winning dramatic others. As I spent more time cultivating who I was, I found myself to be the best company. I don't have to say things I don't feel like or do things I don't want to. Of course I give time to my wife and son, and family every once in a blue moon ( I'm known as the son 'outlaw') .

I spend most my time alone after work journaling, listening to music, taking baths, going for walks through nature or the marina. I caught my wife calling me "anti social" a couple times, but I told her that I am not at all anxious around people, I just prefer not to be with others most the time. I am not at all depressed or worried or bipolar just independent- I think it's because I know myself and have a rich inner world that stems from this that I like to engage more so with than being about others business.

I see life in its simplicity and contentment and live this way. Being about ones own company is a lost art nowadays. On a scale from 1 to 10 I would rate myself pretty high in the solitary lifestyle scoring a 9. How do you rate yourself friend? Are you a peninsula?
soliare soliare
26-30, M
1 Response May 14, 2012

Hello, dear friend. I agree with every word you say and I am happy to know that it is much more normal willing to be alone than I already thought it was. Thanks for your post. It really helped me a lot.

You are welcome! I found as well that it is ok to find other solitary homebodies as yourself as well to do coffee with as it is not to do anything with expectations but simply being in each others company.