Remembering Patrick Swayze and Dad

Here I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself. I read that Patrick Sawyze died. Sawyze was a good actor and a terrific dancer. He always showed so much energy and put so much life in his acting. He died of pancreatic cancer.  Eight months ago my Father died of pancreatic cancer. Is it ever a horrific cancer. I remember his pain, its increasing intensity. I remember his nausea, which crippled his want of food. He lost over 100 pounds wasting away to nothing but a yellow stick of a man. I remember his struggle to take a deep breathe and panic that he couldn't breathe. It comes back to me quickly like the blasting wind of gale force. Don't get me wrong, I was there where I wanted to be. Right there next to his bed, holding his hand or whisphering in his ear. I was there and I stayed right there as much as possible. It was hard to live through this experience and watch him die one moment at a time. There are times that I could have held on to him. One more question I should have asked him. One more time to tell him that I loved him and thank him for being my Dad. My heart goes out to Patrick Swayze's family. We share the emotional pain that pancreatic cancer brought to our familes.

poodlemagnet poodlemagnet
56-60, F
Sep 15, 2009