I Can't Stop Thinking About Dressing

I'm a married man who has cross-dressed on and off for as long as I can remember. It started when I was very young, trying on my mothers pantyhose or the neighbor girls cheerleader boots. I'd find myself in high school day dreaming about high heels and lingerie and would try on my step mothers clothes when I was home alone. I didn't think about it at all though college however as I got older and got my own place I'd dress on and off, buying clothes, wigs, etc.. only to feel "guilty" and purge everything. I'd continue to binge and purge throughout the years, each time taking my dressing a bit farther. I try to convince myself "it's not right" and "I shouldn't do this" but after some time I couldn't deny what I felt. The feeling of shaving my body, of high heels and stockings, the smell of perfume and feeling of earrings dangling from my ears is exhilarating. I absolutely love my wife and am completely unattracted to men normally however, when I dress I can only think about other cd's and men. I have been with a few men before when dressed and had never felt better. It just felt right and so wonderful. I have finally come to realize and accept that I'm bisexual however I'm still confused and tormented. I love my wife and don't want to leave her but, on the other hand, all I can think about lately is dressing. I'd love to find a man to have a discreet relationship with. One who would accept me and allow me to be his cross-dressing wife or mistress.

nik2772 nik2772
36-40, M
3 Responses Feb 24, 2010

you read my mind hun

Hi nik2772 - enjoyed reading your story, and found many similarities to my own life growing up. I also found your story highlights an interesting aspect of crossdressing. It does seem that for a number of CDs, once dressed up, they find themselves attracted to men or other CDs, where otherwise they had only been with women. While it's not something that I experience myself when crossdressed, I can understand it. It happens with a lot of CDs.

i think we all have gone thru the guilt, the purge and quit. And the i just can't quit, so i'll go shopping again ... etc etc.<br />
it took me Forever to come to terms with Nita and Steve. but i finally did. Now i like Nita And Steve.<br />
Now i love shopping, for lingerie, heels , dresses etc etc.<br />
As to actually hooking up with another CD .. it's just a dream for me. Maybe oneday ....<br />
<br />
Hugs,<br />
To Another Friend,<br />
I Hope,<br />
Nita