It Means More When It's With Someone You Care About....

I've been told that I am very patient person, but I don't really believe that, I do believe that I am a very disciplined person, which I think translates to others as patients in there eyes, but I am not patient.

Case and Point

On the surface, today was a very calm and peaceful day for me. I watched some movies, caught up with some friends and played some video games, The most physically demanding thing I did was type this post. However internally my mind has not stopped racing all day. Thoughts about the future, things I need to do, unanswered questions...blah blah the list goes on...

My goal for this year was to try and stop living my life in my head, and to just enjoy the present, and I realized today that I have not made much progress on this goal and that the few times that I was calm, and living so much in the moment, that all that mattered was that moment, was usually when I was holding a girl in my arms, someone I cared about. It is a serenity that is like nothing else in this world.

Being the disciplined person that I am, I don't jump into relationships, I don't just date around, which for the most part I am proud of. However it makes those moments, where I am holding her in my arms, and my mind just slows down to a stop, so to just be there, holding makes those moments very rare, and far between.

Some days I really miss that, and want to give in and settle for just a girl, but the disciplined side of me thinks that it won't feel the same, or it won't mean the same thing, and so again I try and stretch this facade of patients to another day, and hope not to waste many more.

Chrmingo Chrmingo
26-30, M
Mar 6, 2010