I Think Im Addicted..

i think i am addicted to cutting myself. but that's not all im addicted to, i am addicted to popping prescription pills or common pain killers, snorting crushed pills, burning myself, brousing myself, and even putting a belt around my neck for 5-35 minutes. but i think the strangest thing i am addicted to is giving myself hickies. i dont do that one often though. back to what i was saying about me cutting, i dont usally do deep cuts, there light and fast. i cut deep enough to cause pain and alot of bleeding but thats it. i dont cut so deep that it leaves scars although i do have plenty of thoughs, i cut litely, the cuts last anywhere from 2-10 days if there are what i call 'light'. the places i cut vary, i mostly cut in my legs. recently i have cut on my neck and belly. i have cut my face, legs, arms, wrists, belly, ribs, hips, back, and my hands and feet. i use a razor blade. i dont normaly cut when i am angry but when im sad, depressed, tired, bored or even at times when i am happy. i had started cutting not even a year ago. i am only 14 years old. my friend had started doing it and said it takes away mental pain with physical pain. she told me i should start to do it so i did. i remember a time when i had goen over to her house. we hung out for a bit untill we got to the topic of cutting, she had told me she had a scalpel, or a medical cutting tool. she told me her mother had it in the closet. so she took it. the next thing i knew it was in my hand with my friend (morgan is her name) telling me to show her how i cut. i pushed down the tip of the scalpel into my skin if my right leg, i didnt feel a thing, as fast as i could i pulled the scalpel torwards me. i cut a huge and very deep cut into my leg. this had happened about 5 months from this very day (the day i have posted this) and i still have a very notice able scar. i have all together around 45 scars. and around 35 new cuts that i had done last night. i have even taken razors from my leg shaver things, to pencil sharpeners. i used to talk to a professional about this but he did nothing about it. all he said was it is a fase. i dont think it is because i have been cutting for around 11 months now. i think i need help with quiting... is there someone out there who can help me?
X585X X585X
13-15, F
2 Responses May 13, 2012

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first, how'd u post when ur 14? It told me i wasn't allowed.... next: if u dint want to quit then don't. Nothing wrong with that. Butif you fo want to then figure out what mskes you do it.
When your bored? Write or read or doodle or even clean. Take a nap even.
Like the blood? Draw on your wrist with red sharpie.
Like the pain? Get a rubber band and snap it. Its not the same or the best but it helps.
When your angry and upset? Tell a friend and have them do remember when's and be dorky with them.
I've used all of these but I still cut. For them to work you havetto be serious and commited to quiitting.I hope it works for you.