I haven't posted on EP in a very long time because I felt I didn't need too anymore. I've been trying over the past months to stop with all the crossdressing, but it just keeps coming back to me all the time. It's not always the fact that I want to crossdress fully, just the little things like wanting to paint my nails all the time. I can't go anywhere without being jealous of girls wearing polish... It's truly hard, no matter how much I don't think I should be wearing nail polish or wanting to dress up, I just can't help the way I feel about girly things. I've tried to wear polish out in public, and in the end I'm still too afraid of what people think. I love dressing up, I always have, I never not like it, it's just the fact that I believe I shouldn't be doing it. I don't think I'll ever be able to run away from crossdressing in my life. I feel as if its in my blood. I know that isn't true. It's just a big mess up that I wish I could escape.
Shadowhunter23 Shadowhunter23
22-25, M
4 Responses Mar 13, 2014

I know has a clue how you feel cuz where I live its not accepted I've been crossdressing since I've been seven years old I still paint my toenails and there always pain when I get out at work and everything but I would love to have my nails painted all the time too and where my girly clothes without my man I wear something very sexy on the phone all the time

I know how you feel. Its hard to accept its part of you when you look around and everything in society is telling you it isn't 'normal'. The thing is, it is actually pretty normal. Various surveys seem to sugggest that somewhere between 1 in 12 to 1 in 25 have varying degrees of a wish to do this.<br />
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I definitely understand the envy of looking at all the womenfolk out there and the fabulous items in their section of all the shops. Not a day goes by I don't see someone and think "I wish I could wear that in the open". But then, there are probably lots of women who also feel that way about certain items of dress, and feel they can't wear them because they are the wrong size or shape. We certainly understand that thought.<br />
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However, there are loads of people who enjoy this, its just that the majority make us keep it hidden. I know "anyone should be able to wear what they like", after all, this is what all the femminist groups keep saying when someone questions a womans attire. And many of them, if asked "what about men" would say, "yes, them too, they can also wear a skirt or dress if they like". But this isn't the problem is it? The problem is what you perceive would happen if your friends, colleagues, family all found out and the embarassment you would feel. <br />
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The daft part, is that those men who do openly choose to do it, often have little or no big problems out there. But because it is still considered odd, for most of us the worry of reaction to us is too great.<br />
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So, for now I would advise on taking tentative steps. Embrace your desire, because at the end it is harmless, fun, and if you are like many of us it has a de-stressing effect, which is definitely beneficial. <br />
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Go out and purchase a few choice items and indulge in private at your own leisure.In time, only you can decide if you want to keep it a secret, or be more open about it. There are various levels at which this can be done, depending on your own personal circumstances and wishes. <br />
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The one thing I would definitely say though, is don't keep it a secret from any girlfriends for too long. Of course you risk outing yourself if you tell someone then break up with them, that's just a risk of it, but if you're really going to make a go of it with anyone, they need to know, because you're not going to be able to keep it wrapped up forever with someone you live with, and their acceptance is critical.<br />
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Good luck, I wish I'd had the level of internet resource open to me 20 years ago that is around now. I'm sure this will help you understand you're not on your own and it isn't 'wrong' or a 'problem'. It's just clothes. And who says we shouldn't want to wear nice clothes that we love the look of. I don't see why it should be made a moral or religious issue, as some try to do. Its a societal issue only, and maybe, in time, this will change. It just needs a few strong trendsetters out there to crack it and the gates will fall. We all keep hoping ;-)<br />
Best Wishes.

Do not cheat yourself. The urge to crossdress is part of your personality. You can try to give up but you will never manage. Many of us have tried. Best is you accept what you are. And there is nothing wrong with a guy wearing women´s lingerie or clothes. Instead of feeling wrong or guilty just enjoy it.

I know exactly how you feel, I get those same feelings constantly.
I found that if I can "set aside" some "personal" time then I am able to deal with the jealousy.