Fly Or Fall It's All In A Day...It's funny how you feel it but how to truly describe it. From the moments leading up to it. Nights of less or no sleep but you don't crave the rest so why force yourself to submit to it. Then comes the climb and up and up you go and as you rise you know this is it and that the higher you go the more dangerous life can be but do you really care? Consequenses aren't real anymore. What others think mean nothing. It's the feeling of flight that you have missed and crave and here it is.
At first I fight it, no I must sleep more, don't give in. But there are those who also know that high you, that euporic me and they too crave it. It's funny how they almost smell it and come flocking in to get a taste of the oh so high MSP. In their eyes I am the same as I was back when. The entertaining, always giggly, not afraid to take a chance or push the envelope kinda me and now that I'm back it's like old times again.
Here's where the fight begins... I wanna come out and play! I wanna forget all that I know I'm supposed to be doing and let go except once you do, once you give in to that high you don't want to let go. There is never enough and when you have others pulling you for more it's harder to say no.
...but I miss the giggles, the all natural, oh so high, from the inside out laughter that takes over and you can't erase. I had that today, when we spoke, when I heard your voice and remembered how things used to be. You remember too but you also remember how easy it is for me to fall into that and yet you crave it so that you continue to pull... and I don't want to say no.
Grab a bottle of Cuervo and meet me on the roof and remind me how to fly just one more time.
mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 7 Responses 8 Mar 13, 2012