Weird Thoughts...opinions Please..

So, this is my first time ever doing this blogging thing. Don't really know how to go about this, so i'm just gonna say exactly whats on my mind.. Lately I've been feeling extremely out of place.. Don't know why, I just feel really weird. Kind of like my mind and my body aren't one they're two completely different things at the moment. I recently broke up with my ex of two and a half years, we went through so much together. We were pregnant, but I had a still born. He cheated on me three times that I know of, but I always went back. I definitely wasn't in a good relationship, he never cared about how I felt about anything, so finally I got up the courage to just say, im better than this and I moved back home with my parents. I left him early September. Now things seem to be going great! I mean, I have a job now that I love, im doing things that I want to do, I got all my friends back that I wasn't allowed to have because of him, im going to school finally! im so excited for that. I now I have a new boyfriend. We actually took the time to get to know eachother, hes very sweet, and I know every relationship starts out all "perfect, sweet, amazing" but hes truly different, I feel. He wont ever let me pay for anything, when I come to see him hes leaving money in my car for gas, he takes such good care of me. Everything he does is just the best thing. I have honestly never met a guy as sweet, generous, and caring for me before. He's truly genuine. But anyways, back to my little issue. I kind of feel like I might need to go see a therapist or something, but at the same time, I feel like I know I don't and im just overreacting, but what if its me just being in denial, and I truly have something wrong with my head? I don't know. I just get into these really deep thoughts, where I think about life. Like, how I don't feel like myself. I feel lost in this world, ive never ever felt this before. I feel like my body is just doing its thing, and the whole world is moving on and my mind is just stuck in this problem, and cant get out of it. I feel confused. When I think back to things that ive done recently, like work, or driving, or hanging out with friends, I feel like I wasn't really there. It feels like a story that someone else told me about. does that make sense at all? And, im not gonna lie. I smoke marijuana sometimes, honestly because I get the worst migraines, and nothing takes them away but that, and recently when I smoked, I got into those weird thoughts. And when I think back the next day about them, I just say oh well I was just high so that's the problem, I stopped smoking weed, and now the thoughts are happening while im not high or anything. I don't know how to go about this, or what to think. Could it be because my life dramatically changed from where I was with my ex, and now im just able to actually live my life where while I was with him I wasn't able to do anything? Like cause it was a big change in my life so fast, could that be it? Or is it normal to feel and think like this? I cant talk to friends or my boyfriend about it, they say they understand but I don't think they do at all, because when I told them it didn't really come out how I meant too. because I cant completely explain.. theres not enough words too. I just need some more opinions.. someone please help me?
seethrumyeyes seethrumyeyes
18-21, F
Dec 5, 2012