PLEASE Please Make Me Laugh - I Am Serious

I am so tired and sad.  I was diagnosed with Stage II Melanoma 2 weeks ago, getting ready for chemo and radiation, and more tests.  To top it all off, I am going through a very painful separation. 

So, ENOUGH OF MY WHINING.  I am begging for laughter, as I know it helps heal the body and soul.

Anyone out there that is willing to be part of my healing process; It would be greatly appreciated and I would be forever in your debt .

I like all types of humor, am not easily offended - I WILL SAY THAT AGAIN - I AM NOT easily offended, so BRING IT ON, please?

OK all my wonderful new ep friends and those that I don't know yet, I am asking for your help.

Thank you,

Childoftheland

childoftheland childoftheland
46-50, F
42 Responses Mar 7, 2009

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Check out this funny website: http://bananascomedy.com/ There quite a number of free clips. Enjoy. (From the Bible, Proverbs 17:22, "A cheerful heart is good medicine....")

1 tooth brush and a toilet paper talking <br />
Tooth brush : I have the worst job in the world <br />
Toilet paper : Are u kidding me . <br />
:):)):)):))

I hope you enjoyed some of my Irish sense of humour but on a serious note i wish you well and prayer to god that you will beat this, if you want some more jokes just send me a reply

Mickey and Minnie are in the divorce court.<br />
<br />
The judge says to Mickey you cannot divorce Minnie because she is stupid.<br />
<br />
"Mickey Replies" Your Hounor i did not say she was stupid, i said she was ******* GOOFY

A cannibal and his son are out walking when young boy sees this absoloutley beautiful 36-24-36 young big breasted woman walk by.<br />
The son says Daddy Daddy lets take her home and eat her.<br />
The father quickly replies no son let us take her home and eat your mother instead.<br />
<br />
I was walking through the airport when i told my girlfriend to quickly shove the coke up her butt.<br />
I did not realise that you could get another can in the departure lounge.<br />
<br />
The Irish are importing 50,000 tonnes of sand from the middle East.......they want to drill for the own oil.<br />
<br />
Kate Middleton ask te queens advice on how to have a long and happy relationship.<br />
The Queen replied do not **** me of and always were a seatbelt.<br />
<br />
The Liverpool police{UK} have found a large consignment of arms and drugs in a building behind the job center in Liverpool.<br />
The liverpool community are up in arms as they did not know they had a JOB CENTER.<br />
<br />
A nun about to have a bath when the doorbell rings, she cannot find her robe or towels but makes her way to the door naked.<br />
She shouts through the door who is there, when a relpy comes back it is the blind man. <br />
She says oh he is blind and will not be able to see me so she opens the door, when the guy standing there says NICE **** were do you want the Blinds.

A guy decides to take his wife golfing as his mates have let him down and he has already paid the fees.<br />
He asks one request of his wife who has not played golf before, to make sure at the first tee to gently tap the ball down the fairway.<br />
Being his wife and does like to be told what to do she places the ball on the tee and hits it as hard as she can the ball flies of to the left and crashes through the window of a nearby house.<br />
The husband starts to go crazy, to which the wife replies lets keep walking , to which he states that the golf club know who are on the tee at the particular time of the accident.<br />
They both go up to the house and knock on the door which is open, they both walk in very sheepishly and convey there apologies.<br />
There on the seat is a man in a silk outfit with silk slippers and a silk hat and at his feet is a broken vase and the golf ball.<br />
The 2 of them continue there apologies when the man stops them and says no thank you very much, he goes on to state that he is a genie and was trapped in the vase for 3000 years and that they released him.<br />
He says as a way of saying thank you i will offer 3 wishes 1 for the husband 1 for the wife and 1 for him.<br />
The husband starts,i want **** load of money, the genie says no problem you will have millions in every bank in the world and also you will have a long life to enjoy as he claps his hands.<br />
The wife states she wants all the beautiful house and villas in the world, the genie goes no problem and they will be filled with servants who will answer you beckon call and you to will have a long life to enjoy.<br />
The 2 of them are really chuffed when they realised that genie has a wish and they say well what is your wish genie.<br />
The genie pauses and then he states that he has been trapped in vase for 3000 years and is very horny and that the mans wife is very attractive and could he have sex with her.<br />
The couple look at each other and then the wife says to the hubby you do not mind you have all the money in the world and i got all the houses in the world, he nods yes and says he does mind, and wife reminds him that she still loves him.<br />
Anyway the genie and the wife head upstairs and start having sex, the genie is like an animal he has her everyway for about 3 hours.<br />
Afterwards the genie and the wife are having a smoke when the genie asks the wife how old her and the hubby is, she replies we are both 35----------------to which the genies replies and you both believe in GENIES.

FOR childoftheland ..........<br />
<br />
The wife appeared before the judge and said, “I want a divorce.” The judge said, “Why do you want a divorce?” “Because my husband is a terrible lover.” “How long have you been married?” “Fourteen years.” “I don’t understand,” said the judge. “Why wait fourteen years to divorce your husband if he’s a terrible lover?” She said, “Because, your honor, until that salesman stopped by last week, I didn’t know!”

Cute Cheshercat, very cute. It started my day off with a smile - thank you!<br />
<br />
Child

Ok, so now this is a little racist but it is very funny and I don't mean anything by it...it's just funny ok. So, there's is a plane flying in the air, it's loaded down with all sorts of different people from different races. The plane loses one of two engines, so the pilot gets on the intercom and says, "In order to save the plane some of us must sacrifice our lives to lighten the load that way some of us will live. The only way we can think of to do this fair is to go by the alphabet starting with A", so everyone is kindof nodding their heads in a sort of agreement, the intercom continues, "...so starting with A, will all the African Americans please come forward and the Stewards will show you the exit, remember you are saving the rest of us by your kindness.", the Captain adds. There's a moment of silence as some African Americans make their way foreword and disappear into the abyss. Then the intercom comes back on, "...ok now we'll go to B, will all the Blacks come forward...", meanwhile as this is all taking place a young Black African American is looking up at his father in wonderment. After the Captain calls for the all Black people to come foreword he continues, "...we will not go to C, will all the colored people come foreword.", again a moment of silence, the young Colored, Black African American finally out of confusion looks up at his father and says, "Father, why are we not getting up, we ARE African American, we're Black, and we are considered Colored?" His father leans over to his young son and whispers, "Today boy, we's *******!".<br />
<br />
The point being there's always a way to save your skin when you're in a pinch! LOL

This is my first post. I just joined EP. I am on a 30 days diet. So far I have lost 12 days. <br />
<br />
I hope you're feeling better today.

Heres another one!CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW. HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT. TO WHICH HE REPLIED, FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. FINE, SHE SAYS THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK. I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS HE SAYS, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!! SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS............................... HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME. AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED. HONEY, HE ASKS, HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED? SHE SAID, WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE. HE SAID, SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE? SHE REPLIED, HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!

Thanks Mizerable - you made me laugh. I can always use a good laugh!

Over the years I have saved the email jokes that were shared with me--glad to share them with you!<br />
<br />
The Blonde And The Bull <br />
<br />
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br />
<br />
<br />
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.<br />
<br />
<br />
Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I<br />
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.'<br />
<br />
<br />
The brunette arrives at the man's ranch with $600, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.'<br />
<br />
<br />
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, it will cost 99 cents a word.' Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.<br />
<br />
<br />
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to send her the word 'comfortable.'<br />
<br />
<br />
The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable?'<br />
<br />
<br />
The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big. She'll read it very slowly.... 'com-for-da-bul.

I was reading some of your jokes and I remember reading your not easily offended so I hope this one makes you giggle just a little!<br />
LOVES HUGS AND BEST WISHES!<br />
<br />
A woman was helping her husband set up his computer,<br />
<br />
and at the appropriate point in the process,<br />
<br />
she told him that he would now need to enter a password.<br />
<br />
Something he could remember easily<br />
<br />
and will use each time he has to log on.<br />
<br />
The husband was in a rather amorous mood<br />
<br />
and figured he would try for the shock effect<br />
<br />
to bring this to his wife's attention.<br />
<br />
So, when the computer asked him to enter his password,<br />
<br />
<br />
he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...<br />
<br />
P...<br />
<br />
E...<br />
<br />
N...<br />
<br />
I...<br />
<br />
S...<br />
<br />
His wife fell off her chair<br />
<br />
laughing when the computer replied:<br />
<br />
PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH ...

Thanks Castallare - I'll check it out.

Go to Amazon and purchase/download Patton Oswalt's "Werewolves and Lollipops". You won't be disappointed (except on track #4. Skip that one.)

did u hear about the car manufacters putting dimmer switche back on the floor? answer: blonds kept breking thier legs tring to reach the dimmer switch!

Funny. Much appreciated frankiesiena! Thank you.

May I suggest the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich. There are seventeen in print so far, with no end in sight.<BR>The first is called "One for the Money". Don't read them in public unless you don't mind spontaniously bursting in belly laughs for no apparent reason.<BR>They are fabulous.<BR>And a funny for you now:<BR>Male-Female Definitions<BR>THINGY (thing-ee) n.<BR>female: Any part under a car's hood.<BR>male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.<BR><BR>VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.<BR>female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally<BR>male: Playing football without a helmet.<BR><BR>COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.<BR>female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.<BR>male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.<BR><BR>BUTT (but) n.<BR>female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes look bigger.<BR>male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.<BR><BR>ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.<BR>female: A good movie, concert, play or book.<BR>male: Anything that can be done while drinking.<BR><BR>MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.<BR>female: The greatest ex<x>pression of intimacy a loving couple can achieve.<BR>male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.<BR><BR>REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.<BR>female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.<BR>male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minutes. <BR><BR>FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.<BR>female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.<BR>male: An endless source of entertainment, self-ex<x>pression, and male bonding.<BR><BR>COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.<BR>female: A desire to get married and raise a family.<BR>male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Actual story<br />
<br />
A young pupil was taking English as a second language. He was told to write a letter to his girlfriend, as an exercise.. Well, a simple typo changed his meaning (i think)<br />
<br />
Here is his greatest work. heheee<br />
<br />
He wrote "At first I could not stand you but later you CRAPT into my heart".<br />
<br />
lol

Tas,<br />
Where on earth do you come across all of these? I can't re-tell a joke or remember a riddle for the life of me. I am thrilled that these are all written, as I can re-read whenever I need a lift or have forgotten (which is a lot lately)!

Memory Class <br />
An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. <br />
<br />
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. <br />
<br />
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. <br />
<br />
"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?" <br />
<br />
"A rose?" asked the neighbor. <br />
<br />
"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

mabey this will make you laugh<br />
<br />

I love you too Flour! Thrilled to see you "Jubilant" - I love that word.<br />
<br />
Most Definitely a "Child" today!

love you!

Hey Tasmin,<br />
<br />
I should be paying you instead of my therapist and my oncologist combined. You have done more for me in the last hour than either one of them have done for me in the past 2 weeks.<br />
<br />
Over 25 years ago, Dr. Norman Cousins in his book Anatomy of an Illness described how watching Marx Brother movies helped him recover from a life-threatening tissue disease.<br />
<br />
"Is it possible," he wondered, "that love, hope, faith, laughter, confidence, and the will to live have therapeutic value?" Cousins made it a point to enjoy a hearty belly laugh several times a day. A few minutes of laughter gave him an hour or more of pain-free sleep.<br />
<br />
"Funny is an attitude," observed comic Flip Wilson.<br />
<br />
Medical studies show that laughter boosts levels of endorphins, the body's natural painkillers, and suppresses levels of epinephrine, the stress hormone.<br />
<br />
According to Arnold Glasgow, "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects."<br />
<br />
In an ABC television interview, Professor Lee Berk, who has studied laughter and medicine for the past 18 years, explained that laughter increased the Natural Killer Cell activity, the cells that destroy viruses and tumors. Laughter increased a disease-fighting protein, B-cells, the source of a disease-destroying antibody, and T-cells which help cellular immune response. <br />
<br />
Hearty laughter also exercises the lungs and circulatory system and increases the amount of oxygen in the blood. "He who laughs," said Mary Pettibone Poole, "lasts."<br />
<br />
The time is NOW to laugh and be happy. You can do it! Scientist Boris Sokoloff explained, "Like swimming, riding, writing, or playing golf, happiness can be learned."<br />
<br />
You rock!!<br />
<br />
Love, Child (no pun intended)

Q:why did the koala fall out of the tree? <br />
A:it was dead <br />
Q:why did the second koala fall out of the tree? <br />
A:he got hit by the first koala <br />
Q:why did the third koala fall out of the tree? <br />
A:he thought it was a game <br />
Q:why did the Australian fall off his bike? <br />
A:he got hit in the head by three falling koalas

Kachidza was at a local beerhall when a beautiful woman walked in. The beerhall was full and there was only one one place to sit: next to him! Kachidza, always a friendly guy, decided to strike up a conversation with his pretty new neighbor. But as soon as he said "Hello, Miss..." she turned to him and screamed at the top of her lungs, "WHAT KIND OF A PERSON DO YOU THINK I AM, YOU PERVERT!" <br />
<br />
This caught him very off guard, as all of his friends in the beerhall were glaring at him for trying to molest this newcomer. He slouched down as far as he could on his stool, and looked at what he knew would be his last drink here in a long time. <br />
<br />
After a few minutes the lady said to him, "I'm sorry if I scared or embarrassed you. I'm a Psychology student and I'm doing a study on what happens to an innocent person when they are falsely accused of something in public. Please don't take it personally. We're friends, right? Shake hands?" <br />
<br />
Kachidza looked at her, her hand stretched out, her eyes imploring and yelled out, "A THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A NIGHT!!! ARE YOU CRAZY??"

Tasmin, you are spoiling me rotten! How am I ever going to get any work done? <br />
<br />
Destry, you too<br />
<br />
and Lilt - thank you, I love 6 year old potty humor.<br />
<br />
I am truly blessed to have such an overwhelming response to my cry for help.<br />
<br />
Well you guys - you are doing it! I am not thinking about all of the crap betowed - oops I mean bestowed on me at present.<br />
<br />
I am laughing so much that I think I need a protective screen for my monitor (oh gross!)<br />
<br />
Child

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my<BR>wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or<BR>else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I<BR>withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the<BR>sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the<BR>cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception<BR>of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third<BR>bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the<BR>cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the<BR>glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and<BR>drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the<BR>sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I<BR>corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.<BR>When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted<BR>the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were<BR>twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I<BR>had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the<BR>affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as<BR>you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the<BR>drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

Yeah Tasmin is on a role!<br />
This is from the 1st grade lunch table.<br />
<br />
What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?<br />
Nacho cheese!

Einstein and his chauffeur<br />
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making.<br />
<br />
"I have an idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."<br />
<br />
Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"<br />
<br />
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.<br />
<br />
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.<br />
<br />
Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

New Client <br />
A lawyer opened his own office right after successfully passing the bar exam. Sitting idly at his desk, his secretary announced that a Mr. Baker was there to see him. He told his secretary to show him right in.<br />
<br />
Thinking that it was a new client he wanted to make a good impression. As Mr. Baker was entering his office, the lawyer picked up the phone and yelled into it…"Absolutely not! You tell them I will not settle this case for less than five hundred thousand dollars. Don't bother me again until that amount has been agreed to!"<br />
<br />
Slamming the phone down, he greeted Mr. Baker saying, "How do you do Mr. Baker. What can I do to help you?"<br />
<br />
Mr. Baker replied, "Hi, I'm from the phone company. I'm here to connect your phone."

Resumé Bloopers <br />
"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."<br />
<br />
"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions." <br />
<br />
"Instrumental in ruining an entire Midwest chain operation." (Perhaps he meant running.)<br />
<br />
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job." <br />
<br />
"Finished eighth in my class of ten." <br />
<br />
"Experienced supervisor, defective with both rookies and seasoned professionals." <br />
<br />
"Please call me after 5:30. I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job." <br />
<br />
"It's best for employers that I not work with people." <br />
<br />
"I’m extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability."<br />
<br />
"I Planned a new corporate facility at $3 million over budget."<br />
<br />
Personal Interests: "Donating blood. 14 gallons so far." <br />
<br />
"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

Some not too smart gangsters decide to rob a bank. After several days of planning they agree on the best plan. The next day they get to work and are able to get into the bank relatively easy thanks to their planning. Once inside the main vault they discover one wall is full of safety deposit boxes and start to work on them immediately. They drill and pry open the first box only to find a small container of vanilla pudding inside. <br />
<br />
The Head Gangster says, "Okay, well, at least we can eat it." So they eat the pudding. They drill and pry open up the second safety deposit box and there sits another pudding. They decide to devour it too. <br />
<br />
Determined to find the goods, the process continues for the rest of the night until all the safety deposit boxes have been opened. They didn't find any money or jewelry in any of the boxes. Disappointed the head gangster said, "Well, at least they left something for us to eat." <br />
<br />
The next day, while listening to the news they hear:"Yesterday the largest ***** bank in the USA was robbed by an unknown group of people....."

I have been that customer before - Ha ha ha<br />
<br />
Thanks, I enjoyed that story - smiling as I type, smiling as I type.<br />
<br />
Child

Technical Support<br />
I worked in technical support at Silicon Graphics about a year ago, and I was part of the group that was first in line to handle problem calls. Oh, joy. Being only eighteen at the time, my experience in the field of technical support was somewhat limited, but I could still handle my own. <br />
<br />
Now, as you may or may not know, SGI sells top of the line computers used in many different industries. On average, they're about three times as expensive as personal PCs and are meant to be used by professionals in the industries they're used in. <br />
<br />
Anyway, the following call came in: <br />
<br />
Customer: "I just received an Onyx yesterday, and I tried to set it up today and it doesn't work." <br />
Tech Support: "It just doesn't boot up?" <br />
Customer: "It doesn't even turn on. I see nothing on the screen, and the fan doesn't even turn on in the back of the system." <br />
Tech Support: "Is the monitor functioning? Is there a little green light in the lower right corner of the monitor?" <br />
Customer: "Yes, there is." <br />
Tech Support: "Ok, is the computer plugged in?" <br />
Customer: (irritated) "Look, I think I know how to set up a system. I'm a college graduate, you know." <br />
Tech Support: "Ok, let me finish typing up this report, and I'll send it off. You will get a reply within one business day." <br />
Customer: (exasperated) "Thank you. Geez, I mean I paid a huge amount of money for this computer. The least you people can do it make sure it works before sending it to me!" <br />
Customer: "I mean, to add to the poor quality control, you even sent me one extra power cord." <br />
Tech Support: "One extra cord?" <br />
Customer: "Yes, it looks just the one I used to plug in the monitor and computer, but that's all you sent to me. I have no use for this other one." <br />
At this point, I thought I should inquire a little more...but use a bit of tact to do so. <br />
<br />
Tech Support: "Sir, can you double check the serial number on the back of your computer?" <br />
Customer: "On the back of the computer?" <br />
Tech Support: "Yes, sir." <br />
Customer: (sigh) "All right, all right, hold on..." <br />
I heard a few muffled grunts as he crawled over his desk to see the back of the computer. He repeated the serial number from the sticker. I didn't bother to verify it. <br />
<br />
Tech Support: "Thank you, sir. Oh, by the way, can you check to see if the computer is plugged in?" <br />
Dead silence. I could just picture the man's face when he realized that the computer was never plugged in in the first place and that the "extra" power cord he was holding in his hand was for the computer. I didn't wait for a response from him. I thanked him for calling, hung up, and closed the case.

I am cracking up! Belly laughing. Not quite peeing in my pants, but close.<br />
<br />
More, more, more - I am a greedy little girl!

Thanks Highwaters! Hugs are good too.

Hey eneno, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!<br />
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He he he, you definately made me giggle with this one. I am still wondering why my eraser doesn't work better on my monitor.<br />
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Child