Learning How To Be An Inter-state Mom
Right now is a time of mixed emotions. I'm in a transition phase, along with my children. My son will be moving with his dad to another state (his choice) which has been hard to take; however, I understand the father/son relationship and his desire to be closer to his other relatives. He has hardly any in the state where we live now. On the other hand, my daughter only has two years to graduate and wants to stay here to finish school. Who can blame her? This is all she's ever known -- and I don't blame her for wanting to finish high school where she's gone to school throughout her entire life.
Since she's older and staying for the moment where I am, I've been concentrating on my son's move. I have a court date coming up soon with my son's dad. Unfortunately, our relationship is not good. I believe he would rather me be dead. (Seriously, sad, I know.)
I'm feeled with mixed emotions. Recently, I let my kids down in a big way, so they don't trust my words anymore. I want to make it up to them, but the situation is out of my control right now. It makes me sad. I never let my kids down. They've always been able to count on me.
So, while preparing for an ever-present court custody date (which will likely turn ugly since he hates me), I'm also trying to get excited in learning more about my son's new school, gaining rapport with the school officials, joining the local parent organization, etc. I love learning about how new communities work -- I'm very academic oriented -- so I'm excited that his new school will have so many more opportunities for him than his current one.
I've talked with his school counselor and he sounds very willing to help make my son feel at home. This means the world to me. I've learned about their parent organization and volunteered to do whatever to help the school. I've always loved helping the school.
Now, I'm learning about the football program that's available for him. That too is interesting.
I still have to learn the mechanics and probably purchase the necessary equipment so that modern technology will allow me to speak to my kids every night. I want so desperately to maintain a connection with them.
Although at first the task seems daunting, I am unafraid. I once planned my high school reunion ( a rather large high school) when I lived out-of-state. It was a three-day event, and included a pre-event fund-raiser (utilizing a grad who played for the NFL) kids' football camp to almost completely fund the entire event which made the alumni registration costs very affordable. Don't be too impressed, it took me a year to plan........and while I was planning my event, one of my best friends from school (also senior class president at her equally large high school) secured Garth Brooks to perform a free concert at their reunion! (Yes, he married (his first wife) a graduate!) And to think, I was proud to have found a graduate who had a band and performed in local clubs, etc. lol
Anyway, if I can do that.............and the many other challenges that have come my way since age 27-28, I can do anything, long-distance or not! I am motivated to prove to them because I know I have one big naysayer: my dear ex-husband. I love proving him wrong! ha!
So, although I've never been a long-distance mom, I don't plan on being one. I plan to see, talk, and be involved in their lives as much as they will allow for me to be.
I need to move, regain a new career, and be happy. And yes, a big part of that includes loving my kids and being loved.