Well, Most of the Time

I get all excited.  "Oh, how nice!  One of my friends is thinking about me!"  I feel a little special for a moment and quickly go to see who it is.

"You have a new fan!"

Okay, I'm flattered for a moment.  Somebody likes me.  Maybe it's someone I've been liking, too.

I open the mail and there's that scary blue and yellow avatar with a big head and the clueless sign "?" glaring behind it.  I feel a certain dread, but click on the weird username anyway because you just don't know for sure...

1st experience:  "I want to see you spread goo on..."  Need I continue?

Needless to say, no thanks.

Myonis108 Myonis108
56-60, F
22 Responses Feb 24, 2009

What's wrong with a little vibration?

Ewww, ballz! Does your blow up doll vibrate?

I got one yesterday that led me to the sickest story I've come across yet. It was removed as soon as I informed EP. The fan wasn't the writer, but his comments led me to it. I always check out not only their stories, but comments, as well, because those can say a lot about what the person is like and how they conduct themselves here. I do find if you ignore them, they leave you alone and go troll elsewhere. Just like creepy bar flies.

I love getting EP mail better than getting real mail, cause there are never any bills in EP mail, and I only have a few people that ever send me good stuff through snail mail...<br />
<br />
I just ignore the weirdo's, and they pretty much leave me alone when I don't bite... and I never add anyone that I haven't seen around or talked to before.

It's frightening to think I perfected the art at age 7. Thank goodness I refined it as an adult. <br />
It's way too early to be laughing this hard! BOB?

His name is "BOB" (battery operated boyfriend). He's a cheap date...but he's always there for you when you need him.

I politely told her I wasn't interested in learning how bad she'd been. -- You know, Myonis, there's simply no point in me retaliating - any chick that rips her own hair out with an egg beater has obviously perfected the fine art of self-abuse - which, by the way - is another name for what you do with that battery operated thingy. Bwahahahaha!!!!

This is just not going to end well...

How bad was she, El? I would be happy to send you some pervy e-mails if you feel deprived. I'd throw rubbish on your lawn if it was a gesture. In the meantime, bwahahahaha!!!!

So true. And there's also a fine line between sending EP greeting cards and throwing rubbish on my lawn. That's mail I DON'T enjoy. -- Guys are lucky in that we rarely get creepy perv mail - (although there was that stewardess from Indonesia who wanted to talk about how bad she'd been. Yikes!)

I don't always take them off. There's a fine line between pleasure and pain!

She's hiding a spike in that heel.

One of my gams, le0n? They feel wonderful.

I love my gams. They rock. Bring the pervs on. I'll deal with them.

Hey, thanks d. Ha! I know...there's just no competing with legs like that!

Hey, I never get mail like that, either. *poot*

I have had troubles getting pictures on my site...and I too love to see mail...do you like music? what kind? Outdoors?...TV?...games? Who are you really? and what would you ask me? PaL Tim

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He's beholden to you. I feel like you're giving me the hairy eyeball, like my mom used to do. "Myonis, knock that off!"

I think I'm beautiful.<br />
Paul Klee made me that way.

Ha! It's usually on the weekends when you aren't on as much. I think the pervs get bored and start trolling. But then, your face IS pretty scary.

I never get mail like that. Maybe my face is too scary?<br />
Most of my mail comes from you, Myo.<br />
And I like it like that.

Pretty much, and I certainly don't want anything offered on the menu!