T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!"
I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong.
So I go to tell him what happened to me last night.
I have been dating this very hot girl that I met in the bakery. She has said she was single and I believed her. Whoa is me. One day we walking and everyone kept staring at us, I knew what they were thinking. "Humans, and blueberry muffins shouldn't date." They were all wrong, they didn't know our love was very strong.
One night I was at her house, and she was ready to have sex. I pulled off her muffin wrapping, and proceeded. I began riding her, sucking on her lucious blue berries, shaking her whole cake pan. Then I had the pastry, heels over her head. I just kept on going deep in her p*ssy made of nice warm muffin, covered in frosting. Then I pulled out my stuff, I had blue balls.
It seemed to be a great evening, I was about to go down on her, when her boyfriend walked in....
He was a brand muffin, looking very strong. He had a lot of scars and burns all over with, he was one muffin you wouldn't want to p*ss off. And here I was cooking his muffin girlfriend. I knew I was dead, I knew he was going to kick my as with his strong muffin arms. The love off my life screamed.
"Oh Darrel, he means nothing... I only love you." Wow what a b*tch muffin... what a Mitch.
Then the weirdest thing happened, the brand muffin took off his shirt and asked if he could join. That night I was raped by a muffin.... I haven't been able to eat a muffin since.
"Dude wtf is wrong with you?"
"Shut up man, screw you."
"So was he good?"