Epic Zit Story

Okay, this is a zit epic--I only wish I could have video taped the images I am going to describe but this happened before video cameras and cell phones.  I had the worst cyst on a body part that I did not want anyone to see.  That meant I kept it to myself and this thing kept growing.  At about the size of a walnut, bright red streaks started growing down my inner left thigh.  In desperation for relief,  I rummaged through the medicine cabinets of my friends, neighbors, and family and assembled my therapy with  a mixture of antibiotics and pain medication.  Understand by this point the pain was intense.  I could not sit, stand lie down, sleep, work or eat.  And this thing was growing strong in an area I was still not about to share with anyone.  So, after 8 days of suffering, I resigned myself to die.  Before death, with great care, I took a bath. As I lowered myself into the tub of water, I relaxed, impending death will do that, plus the water made the pain bearable--I had been taking showers--as I didn't think I could stand the new body part touching water.  Well, as I slowly lowered myself into the deep tub of really warm water, the heat of the water and the "alien body part" met in a dance on the water. This "dance" was instant combustion with an epic "explosion".  I fainted.  When I woke up, and stopped seeing stars I was free of pain soaking in a soup of nuclear of pus, chunks, and blood set against a backdrop of bloody pieces on the expensive glass doors that encased the huge tub.  I was finally free of the "alien" body part, I had the biggest mess of my life to clean up--and yes, even though slime and gruel seeped out of me for about a week, I was free of my alien body part.

Lesson learned, if I had the same growth on me today, in the same location, I would run, skip and take a filming crew with me to the nearest emergency room.  If nothing else, I would go hand-in-hand to the ER with my expensive hand held phone/tracking device and would film the entire procedure as a condition of treatment. Once home, I would nag someone to help me post the award winning images on this site in memory of the "explosion of the one that got away."  I am sure I would win some kind of "popthatzit" academy award.  The end.  

SuzieCyst SuzieCyst
1 Response Jun 21, 2009

LOL i was laughing so hard!! xDD