Marriage Commandments (this Is Meant To Be Light-hearted)

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating! In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Uncondemned Uncondemned
41-45, M
5 Responses May 4, 2012

LOL! I wonder how many exceptions are out of these commandments? Especially I am suspicious about the first one!

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Was humorous; but after 45 years of marriage I think it is a two way street. We often get; in response to what we give.

I have been through 1 marriage already and am now married again!! I can agree with this and got a big laugh out of it!! THANKS FOR SHAREING THIS.<br />
By the way, are you a motor bike rider? I am too. I ride with the club Patriots australia, Victoria, Gippsland chapter.<br />
Safe riding my friend!!

Thanks for the comments EEZY. Yes I am a rider. I've owned 14 bikes (one at a time) so far. My latest was a 2000 Harley Dyna Super (FXD). It spoiled me! Sold it to help fund a business start-up but I'll get another real soon. I am affiliated with our local HOG only right now. Cheers!

hehehe , that very true about women .... <br />
great list..i like #4, which I guess is the main divorce factor ..

Yeah, that can be a trouble spot for virtually everyone in a relationship lol