Excerpt From One Of My Newer Stories-beautiful World

... Snow fell peacefully as Matilda sat on the low brick wall of the town's playground. Tiny white droplets stuck to her coppery curls as she smiled lightly. She watched as five children from the across the street built snow walls and forts, packing the show carefully into tight, tiny balls to get ready for a fight. They looked like they were only six or seven years old, and reminded Matilda of marshmellows in a rainbow of hues because of their bulky, down-stuffed parkas. A little girl with long, blonde hair shouted, the first snowball flying from her purple-mittened hand, hitting a boy with short brown hair square between the shoulderblades. He squealed loudly, causing Matilda to chuckle. More 'attacks' followed, until one of the boys decided he would make the game a little more interesting. He slinked away from the rest of the children and climbed up a tree deftly, dopping 'bombs' onto the girls. They all alughed as the boy shimmied back down.
    '' That's Cal, for you, '' Matilda whispered softly to the dark, cloudy gray sky. The snow stopped falling as Matilda grabbed her guitar from beside her and expertly strummed the strings, finding her rythmn easily. She began to sing Bob Thiele and George David Weiss's, What A Wonderful World.


So, to anyone that will not get bored and read the whole thing, do you think this is good for my story? Is it too bland, too lucid, too anything? Please tell me.heart
LatexNightxStar LatexNightxStar
13-15, F
1 Response Aug 11, 2010

What a wonderful world, a peaceful and happy world of imagination. But where can we find it on this war zone we called earth ?