Can You Touch Me? - Yes You Can!

 

I started writing on a daily basis when I was a freshman in High School.  I had a teacher that was also a professor at a well known university.  He loved creative writing and journaling. His love of the written word soon was instilled in me.  His passion for words led me to strive to find new words in my writing.  Although most of my writings here are simple I enjoy technical writing and I am a lot more than some of the simplistic offerings you see me presenting on EP.  I remember that in my sophomore year of high school my mother purchased me two thesauruses as I wore out the first one looking for a better word-something unique to impress this wordsmith.  Little did I know in my little mind that some of the writings I did back then would become some of the most meaningful in my life. I enjoy writing my blog, journaling on paper, writing all kinds of poetry, writing short stories, and working on my novel.  If I could see this man today I would buy him some vodka (he loved vodka and wrote about it frequently) and I would take it to him. I would sit on his front porch in his big cane rockers and reminisce with him.  When we were done reminiscing, I would take my leave but not before I hugging his neck and thanking him for giving me the greatest love in my life.  Some people love other people, some love animals, and some love drugs, food, flowers etc.  My love and my passion is writing.  Thanks Dr. T. for awakening that passion in me. Without you there would be no metaphors, no synonyms, no thesaurus, and no deep intense passion in my life.  You gave me much of the passion that defines me as a woman.

 

I have kept a journal since high school and recently was looking back at these.  There are a total of 47 volumes (2 per year for 24 years) and each and every page of those journals has my heartfelt feelings there for those closest to me to read and gain understanding of who and what Jaycee is and was while she lived.  I added my journals to my will recently.  My sister will gain custody of these memoirs.  I hope that they bring her comfort and peace but I also hope that by allowing her to read firsthand who I am that she won’t make the same mistakes that I made.  Maybe she won’t ever be in an abusive relationship.  Possibly she will never be involved with a drug user that gets blown away.  I certainly hope that no one ever tries to kill her but that is in my journals for her to read about and cry over if she chooses to do so.  She may never lose her child but if that does happen to her maybe she will find strength in knowing that I went through it and lived through it.  Maybe she won’t fall in love with her best online friend and ruin everything that made the relationship great.  Yes, that is in there too.  I hope she learns from my journals, that she loves from my journals, and that she cries with the love of a sister over the intense pain that I have written about and poured onto the many pages of my journals. 

 

My point in sharing my story is this.  When you are writing something on a blog or an experience here or anywhere else never under estimate the power of the words you write.  Dr T.’s words touched me and spawned in me the need to write and then write some more. On my worst says if I can pick up the laptop and type a short story and I feel like things are going to be ok. I don’t want any of you to doubt that your words are important because if they are never important to anyone else they are important to me and they touch me. I only hope that I can touch you as many of you touch me.

fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
46-50, F
61 Responses Mar 12, 2008

Well expressed thoughts, and you raise some important points... Writing is a gift for life and a gift to others...what I write ons here is mostly just for fun..excuse the Dutch predictive text must get rid of it...

Well done! I started writing at age 70, well after retirement and haven`t looked back.<br />
My days are nothing but pleasure. Have two novels published and hundreds of<br />
short stories and poems placed on the Internet.<br />
Hey! I am 88 this year and dammit, I think writing has given me many productive<br />
years ahead.<br />
Please don`t stop...I promise I won`t.

I appreciate all your brilliant and heartfelt comments. They inspire me day in and day out and for that I am eternally grateful.

fungirlmmm. Thank you so much for sharing your passion for the written word, your written word, how a mentor inspired you to such a strong degree. I've been writing my entire life but then...when I became ill I lost the desire to write maybe because I was in a lot of pain and still am. Though I went to a grief group twice to help me to get over a guy and we had ot journal in these groups. So, then that's all i could write about and ironically that's all i've written about for several years, this guy. This to me is nuts. I mean yes, I need to get my feelings out but I'm stuck in that place. When I was well and attending school I wrote about so many topics, a lo t of poetry and memoir, the personal essay and was on the school newspaper writing journalistic articles. Now? This stuck place I'm in bothers me enormously, that I haven't been able to get passed writing only letters and e-mails to a guy who ended a relationship with me a year ago. Before this I'd write about all kinds of topics. I was expanded. Writing for me was like breathing. I couldn't do without it and now? I'm stuck. I mean how long can one write about a person who dumped me a year ago and I still have so many upset feelings about him and i still miss him. I had to go back to therapy since I realized i had other issues that he was a covering for, but, before him I was free. Free to write about so much since this is a huge world with so many many issues. Perhaps I need to go easy on myself and accept this is where I am now and know that eventually, (though when?) will I get passed this so I can have my self back and stop this incessant dwelling on a guy who hurt me a lot. It's like I gave myself up including my writing when he dumped me. Anyway, I'm reaching out and have joined a couple of groups at a church and doing an on-line course to get into some deeper issues about myself. I really want to get back into the expanded writing where whatever turned me on I wrote about and loved, truly loved.l Expressing myself is part of my soul and it's something I need to be in my life and I never ever thought that I wouldn't want to be doing it. Any ideas from anyone on this? Thanks so much. Velvetflow P.S. .I truly respect people who love to write and I understand the passion and the fulfillment that comes from doing this. It is a part of one's soul, one's identity, a true ex<x>pression of oneself. Thank you all for writing about your love of writing. Also, I've won awards for my poetry and was voted number one poet in my community college and got into Whose Who In the World and of American Woman and Whose who in America due to my literary work. So, it's quite upsetting to have lost the desire to write.

Thank you hartfire

Your word touches my mind, and because of its receptive desire, the word penetrates, like ***** to egg, or seed in fertile soil. Something inside stirs, and reaches up and out.<br />
Know that you have touched me with your mind.

Thanks Freedom. i have actually been on Ep since 07 but I had a brief moment where I terminated my account. I regret that by the way.

2008? - - 2008??!! - - - - And I am just now getting around to reading some of these post. . . Well, better late to the party than to have never arrived. . . Well written and heartfelt material fungirlmmm. I love the way you think/write. . .

Wow your comment brought tears to my eyes. This is my personal favorite post I have ever made here. I was very emotional when I wrote this and I have since gone back and re-read it several times and found some typos and some editing is needed. However I have left it in its original form because I can still remember how it made me feel when I wrote this story. So thank you so much for your comment. It means a lot to me.

You are an amazing woman..........this post was so touching I am completely lost for words.......to express how good I felt today just by reading it:)<br />
I was severely depressed since morning,this post of yours gave me the strength that I needed..for the rest of the day!!!<br />
Keep sharing...........

I just read my comment that I made on Apr 13th, 2008 at 8:17PM on this story. I made grammar mistakes. Boy. I'm going to try to change it.

:)

Awwww!

I think the teacher would be very proud of his pupil .......

You are very welcome. I can't wait to see what you come up with next. I have noticed that you are becoming more vocal as an individual. Keep it coming. :) ((hugs))

Thank you for reading it Keeramara. ((hugs)) I am enjoying your contributions here btw.

Thank you all.

WOW! I was truly touched by your words, thoughts and experiences in life. You truly makes a great teacher and inspire others to live out their dreams and use their words to uplift and inspire others as well. I would love to read some of your writing to soothe my soul.<br />
<br />
Sheerpurrfection

Such beautiful words fungirl.<br />
I used to keep a journal and over the years I let it slide....maybe it's time I took it back up.

I hear what you are saying, but words are meaningless to me. The only power words have is the power you yourself give them. A lot of people say i have helped them when i share a story, but they can share a story with me and there is just nothing there. For me i am think that is great i don't really care though.

Who is Matt?

This is another of my favorite posts Swimmer. I am supposed to be meeting with Dr. T's family again soon.

wow! writing has always been my trademark thing. one day my teacher asked us to write a 1 page essay i ended up writing 3 with 14 paragraphs on the subject

Thanks.

I can't write, so I appreciate a good read. You are a good read. Thanks.

Well we learn with age to appreciate certain things that we can't when we are younger.

Wow, you've been through so much. It really is a powerful, heartfelt post. I knew you must've been writing well from the start. When is the novel coming out?<br />
<br />
<br />
My english teacher really liked what i wrote. I ignored him. I was really stupid then, hehe.

I actually am writing my third book right now. I love writing and I am very passionate about it. Thanks for your comments.

It is very apparent in your words that you are in fact a great writer, and writing is such a beautiful thing to have such a passion for! So keep on writing, never give it up - you'll do great things. Have you thought about getting some of your stuff published or writing a book?

Thanks eternal. I appreciate the comments.

I enjoyed reading your writing here. They always sounds like you can read someone's mind .. and you express them well on on writing.. thank you so much FG. I just read your 'I am bruised but not broken' ..Like i so much...

Thanks DT. I try to show my emotions and to be as open as possible. <br />
<br />
Tuna, I think you are right.

Maybe that s just the hallmark of a writer. I mean people like us really want the reader to like what they read. We want to show 'em a good time right?

See I am like that as well. I always picture the audience.

Oh man, my typo's in the last share are terrible. To those who like intelligent writing...my apologies.

I understand, and by the way, your writing here flows very nicely. I also love to write. I did not always know that. I recently went back to school to become a psychotherapist. Naturally, there are lots of papers that one must write. Well, as it turns out, i found myself just lovin' those things. Instead of just turning in the papers and thinking that I did my job and done with it, i find myself imagining the person (my instructor) who hasto readthe paper, and trying hard to write in a way that will touch him or her personally. Now, since you also write technical stuff, you will understand that is hard to do in a technical paper. Still, i walk the line. i try to find ways of making my stuff flow, even if i am dealing with boring studies, stats and etc. So here is a confession: I just realized that I feel close to someone when I am writing to them-even a grad school prof; even a politician (as if they actually read their own constituents' stuff); or in this case you. Maybe that says something about my fear of itimacy. Why do I feel closest to strangers, or near strangers, to whome I write. Hum?

thanks sweetie

You are blessed, very good written.

TY

Interesting comments Samantha. I also read somewhere that Tolkien wrote The Hobbit for his children. I have a series that I wrote originally for my younger sisters and then I wrote additional ones for my nephews and nieces. I won't go into the whole story but they use a central character (a dog) that is born with a deformity and how that deformity made him unique and different. I wanted them to know that our differences make us special not freaks.

fungirlmmm, I just read your comment in this thread from a few months ago where you said you also wrote stories for your nieces and nephews. I'm not an expert, but it seems to me that I have heard that the inspiration for a lot of writers' books came from stories they were spinning for children -- Lewis Carroll originally invented Alice in Wonderland for the daughters of friends and Milne first told the Winnie the Pooh stories to his children and I'd swear I remember hearing somewhere that Tolkien wrote many stories for his children, including his stories that got collected as The Hobbit. I'm sure there are other examples but that's all that I can think of. I'm just saying that writing stories to entertain children seems to be part of a whole tradition of writers, just like people with musical talent sing to their children.

Hey that is what friends are for.

No it makes perfect sense to me. . . I listen to music when I am studying as well.

I listen to my IPOD while I am on here as well.

It makes sense to me Tia. I love you girl. . . BTW I would love to see you write every day. <br />
<br />
TDK, And you have a fab start.

Thanks for sharing Bebe

Writing is truly a very cathartic thing to do! I too, have wrote alot of journals since I was probably in 9th grade, and I keep each and every one sacred and close.. they mean more to me than anything! I think it is a great thing you love to write, and you're gonna give them to your sister.. sounds like a great idea.. =)<br />
Never stop writing!

So I ditto the the ditto that you already dittoed and accept your hug and raise you a kiss on the forehead... I hope this is ***** poker or at least picture poker so I can get a pic of those jeans lol.

Well then I feel a need to ditto the the ditto that you already dittoed and raise you a hug!

Ditto that ditto darling one!!!:-)

Ditto :)

TY Bass. I love you too Bass. You take great care of me and you also make me feel so much when I read the beautiful words you write.

What a beautiful story from a truly beautiful soul. I love you fungirl.<br />
<br />
Words are so, so powerful. It is one of life's greatest pleasures to me to be able to dance across the words of someone who understands that and has the knowledge to truly wield them well. You are bringing passion back to my life.

Business Administration and Accounting

Dear Fungirl: This is very well written. What was your major in college?
Thanks for sharing. I love reading your stories. Some stories of your send message and other are just telling your experience in your life.

Please continue to post more. So Will I.

Pink,<br />
I think you sell yourself short in the last posting. I see something in your writing. You are creative and you have a passion for it. It is fresh and I like that. YES! I read your stuff and I enjoy it. Our life experiences greatly influence our writing, not only in content, but with the intensity of the passion that is conveyed in the words we choose. I especially liked your creative writing post. I too get frustrated when I have to meet a min or may word count for a piece. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.<br />
<br />
Paint Pony,<br />
The same for you..... There are lots of people that do not have the guts to post and you come up with unique hilarious postings. I love your statement, “ I ride horses because I enjoy being broke.” I paraphrased there. It is priceless and so true. It is so good that you can laugh through your pain. LOL

wow my meagre sciblings pale by comparision .All the best for your great future as a writer, I shall look for you...

Gmortk, I write children's stories for my nieces and nephews. I am working on one now for my newest niece in fact. It gives me a change from the normal writing that I do including my novel wich surprisingly had been at a standstill until I started blogging on EP and now it is moving along nicely again. <br />
GMZ, Moma, and Brut, TY for your nice comments. I appreciate it. I really meant every word of what I wrote. I get my inspiration from my friends on EP. You all rock!

Wow, that was really great. I also love to write, I've written three novels so far. Nobody can really understand the excitement of writing, of creating a whole new world untill they do it. I'll soon post a story about this experience.

This is so true about writing...it does something to your mind that allows it to relax and be excited at the same time. It is good to have a mentor like that. It sounds like how you feel would make him really happy....<br />
Thanks for this wonderful post, FG!

This is by far one of my favorite stories you have written fungirl. I'm sorry I didn't see it earlier. I don't have any confidence in my stories that I write on here nor do I possess a skill in writing but when I read this it made me smile and swell up in pride. I have several drafts that I didn't think I would share because I didn't think they would be worth anything to post but now I bet I do. Thank you for your inspiring words. :)