Random Thoughts

When I think of you and rush of thousands of song lyrics flood my mind. A feeling of emptiness enters my body. Anger, sadness, hurt.... these are common, too. You say you love me, so then why do I feel nothing but hate? You mock me. You question me. All I hear is "You should have" instead of thank you for the efforts I have made. Every morning... I hand my heart to you, hoping that you will love and protect it. While you are at work I clean your house spotless. I fold your laundry. I have dinner waiting for you. I submit and respect you. I am kind to you. I greet you with a joyful smile and "Hey! How was work?". If I can tell you need space I leave you alone. I have never, ever once denied you intimacy... even when I was angry, even when it was 3:00am, even when I was not feeling it... I have never said no. Some may call that a good partner. Cleans, cooks, is respectful and fulfills the needs of your flesh. So, why is that never enough? I try every day to be everything you need and want... just for you to take the heart I gave you and to crush it. Still again, I'll hand you my heart... For what reason? I choose to be vulnerable so I can be open to you... instead of building up walls. I want to shut you out, I want to push you away... but I never do. Because I love you. Will you for once, at the end of the day hold my heart in one piece, instead of the crumbles you made?
29shadowedheart19 29shadowedheart19
22-25, F
Dec 15, 2012