Firts Draft

6:30 PM. I was trying to find my keys, I couldn’t find them anywhere. And then I remembered, my mother!. She was using them yesterday, so I called her.

Of course, they are in her purse. I am going to be late for class. Something always happens in this house, it seems I will never be able to be on time. But it’s ok. She is on her way now. In just a few minutes I will be taking the bus.

I hear the key in the lock. It’s my mom. I kiss her goodbye and run to the bus stop. I’m just 20 minutes late. Not so bad. I wait for a few minutes; I see the bus appearing in the corner. I murmured “Hello” to the driver while I’m paying.

I seat in the back, and a man seats right besides me. It’s making me king of nervous. There are some other free seats. I just hope he will be getting off son.

It’s funny how the bus ride makes me remember my grandfather. When I was about 11 years old he once asked me if I went to the seeds store whenever I was downtown. I didn’t really know what downtown was exactly at that age. I had only gone with my parents a few times.

The man next to me stands up. He rings the bell, he will get off. It’s kind of a relief.

I take a book from my backpack, read a few lines. I can’t concentrate. I read again. I can’t figure out what I’m reading, so I close the book. I find very fascinating to look at people on the bus. So I do.

There are about 10 persons. Half of them are women. I will get off in the last stop. I see a girl who is carrying books. I imagine she will be getting off with me.

There is this other boy; he is looking out the window. It makes me wonder why I don’t have a boyfriend. I feel alone. I have to stop being so pretentious and commit myself to someone. Maybe I have to go out more. I should call a friend when I get back home and invite her somewhere to look for boys. I must think who well be up to the mission!

The girl is ringing the bell. This is my stop.

I don’t remember getting off. But that is not unusual. I have done this so many times, that they all feel like the same.

The girl is walking down the street. I must hurry up, I’m 15 minutes late. I thought it was going to be more. I regret getting mad to my mom.

It’s kind of chilly.

It’s dark now. I don’t exactly now where I am. I remember getting my eyes down to look for my sweatshirt. My cell phone is in my pocket.  I open it so I can see. It seems like a trunk. I’m shaking now.

I can hear some man laughing, I must call the police, and maybe there are two of them.

“Police, how can I help you” the man says.  And then it hit me.

-I have been kidnap – tears falling down my face.

Silence in the line.

-        Where are you?

-        I think it’s a trunk. I was walking down to college, that is the last thing I can remember – I can’t control the way my body shakes now.

-        Didn’t you see the color of the car, the person who take you, the patent of the car, something that can help us find you? – I can hear how he is worried.

-        No – I cried.

-        Ok, just stay in the line, we are trying to find you. You must not worry. It will be ok. You will be ok. – I can feel how he is getting nervous.

I just hear his breath for a few minutes. He is trying to calm me down. It has been forever when I finally say -I must call my father-.

 - You shouldn’t – the man says. – We are trying our very best to find you, just stay –

That is the last thing I hear. I’m calling daddy now. He is the only one who can help me. I know that.

Just the bip tone, over and over again. His answering machine answers. I don’t know what to say. –Daddy, help me- I murmured.

The car has stop. I can’t see or hear anything.

The man is looking at me, he sounds really worried. I recognize his voice. I can’t figure out what he is telling to the other man. But it can’t be good news.

I wish I could tell you I love you, but the words won’t leave my body. The man is calling you; he tells you they had found a girl matching my description.

I feel the ground under me. My leg is somehow over my hip. The man is holding my hand. He tries to calm me down one more time.

I wish I could wait until you get here. I can feel you coming. You are on your way. I only wish I could tell you that everything will be ok. The cold of the night don’t penetrate my skin no more. And then, a tear on your cheek is the last thing I see.


caritus caritus
31-35, F
2 Responses Aug 17, 2007

i dremt of my close friend mum who died of cancer years ago , but it was a very confusing dream, i could see numbers ,which seemed of importance they were h v 11 then i awoke

That is very... touching. I just read it all and i feel moved... in a strange way. I just walked home from downtown in the rain thinking nobody cared for me except for my family and that didn't make me very happy. I was thinking that if i went to become a soldier and i would die in combat people would mourn for me because i died for my country. I am joining the army in a few months. If i stay longer and become a soldier i will get sent to some distant country where i will fight for some righteous cause. If i die some people will miss me but not many. Oh my, I'm just blabbering. The thing about your poem is that you feel lost and that you get kidnapped from your friends by yourself because you don't know how to go about people. Maybe. It is hard for me to tall because I've had so many beers tonight. Sheesh, it's nearly 5 in the morning. But i appreciate your poem, it is beautiful.