What I Write Comes Back to Me As the Support I Lack In Reality.

I started to write when my life became almost the opposite of how it used to be.......Life was was wonderful before it spiralled down........leaving me severely depressed, ill with Ross River Virus. alienated from family and friends, lacking in confidence to the point that I would not leave my bedroom/house for weeks at a time. I would not shower during that time either. My surroundings would not be maintained and I would try and sleep as much as possible because being conscious and thinking was too painful.
I still battle with all these issues.
So...........I started to write.
At first I used write myself letters starting with..........
Dear Vicki.

Then I would talk to myself as though I was a loving friend who cared about what I was experiencing. I would say uplifting things and remind myself that I was a good person and things would change eventually.there is any hope
Another reason I began to write was because when something bad happened to me or I was deeply offended by someone I would vent on paper.  I don't find it easy to be harsh with people even when it is warranted, but I had no choice..........I was living  with my so called "support" and was discouraged from making waves or expressing any negative opinion or concern. ( Which basically explains where my depression has its roots).
So thats why I began to write.
But it doesn't work anymore and I am desparate to know if there is any hope of me revovering from this state.
If you were  patient enough to read all this ......Thankyou.

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2 Responses Sep 28, 2009

I know you wrote this a long time ago.... but something in the way you wrote caught my eye.<br />
What a powerful story... I loved how you said you started to write to yourself as a friend.. there was something so peaceful and powerful about the act of self kindness and being self loving.. I hope that you can found ways to be kind to yourself and to express yourself.. to ease some of your depression..... <br />
If you ever want to chat... hit me up!<br />
:)<br />

There is always hope. Anyone to say otherwise needs to avoid putting their nose in other peoples problems. Writing is a great method of putting your thoughts down, recognizing what you feel and being open to yourself if no one else. It give's one time to think things over and contemplate how to put into words plans, problems, thoughts and ideas. Being creative or just writing, either way people tend to try to improve how they write. In turn it helps us improve how we think.<br />
Depression is hard on people no matter the kind of depression or the person. <br />
<br />
One of the best quotes I have seen to date is:<br />
Be yourself, everyone else is taken.<br />
<br />
Keep your head up and remember that no matter how things might get bad, you can always talk freely in here!