Bombarded W. Anger & Frustration

Caught between two force fields of love and hate.

Hating those who take every breath forgranted,

those who believe their hearts will beat forever,

that their scarlet red blood will constantly flood their veins

and their chests will always rise and fall.

Bombarded with anger and frustration

overwhelmed with guilt that i myself have sat back and

watched the years fly by as if my life knows no time frame.

Yet i hear my heart screaming in my subconcious mind to love those

who take this fragile life forgranted,

to stretch out my hand to them and show these hopeless souls

to live as if they were dying.

For once in my life, my hatred outweighs my love to assist those in need.

I let go and tell myself, they must learn alone!

I am unable to live someone else's life for them!

The continual questions weighing heavily on the philosophical mind of this irrate youny woman is simply this,

Where do i begin to find the compassionate, forgiving, unconditional loving person i used to be?

The gravitational pull of the 2 strongest emotions have me feeling like my body is going to split in half.

I almost feel as if Im dead!

Physically, I'm alive yet internally, I'm rotting, slowly discinigrating into exactly who i swore i'd never become!

Every day is like a blur, like a fog has devoured my soul!

Everything i stood for no longer matters!

The only thing that counts is her heartbeat, her chest rising and falling and that this demonic disease has not captivated

her influential, heart warming wise spirit.

I feel selfish for wanting to keep her here on this earth!

I know she's suffering, in horrific agony and pain and heaven is calling her home.

Lord, please help me release the grasp i have on her physicallity and assist me in believing that you need her there a billion times

more than i do!

She embedded so much of her spirit and wisdom into our family and i fear we will detach ourselves from one another

and lose the values and morals that she placed within all of us when she's physically no longer here!

I ask for strength to carry on her legend!

Wisdom to not allow my sorrow to take over the empowering person i know i can be!

If she must leave this earth, i understand

.

For i know now, she will be the angel for seeing over us all!

I refuse to be this angry, hateful person I've become!

Help me to overcome, to no longer be like a ragdoll being torn into shreds

and to hault the evil within me and use love, hope and faith to refuel my heart, body, and mind.

writingmyrelease writingmyrelease
26-30, F
5 Responses Mar 7, 2010

When ever you write, I feel connected to you in some way. I think I get absorbed in your descriptions. I know this is older and I can see how it is different from more recent writings. It is still great work and a great release.

I wrote this many yrs ago...i havent written anything new in a long while...ive had quite the writers block..but i will try soon! Thanks for all the support! YOu are amazing

While You can still write with such power and passion, You should keep doing so, WMR. Not to do so would be to deny us one of EP's most thoughtful and creative minds. <br />
<br />
Thank You for this inspiring and (for me) timely post.

Thats some of the best advice i have ever been given...sounds so simple the way you put it...too bad its not that simple

Release,<br />
There beats in you the heart of a poet. There is but to listen to the beat and the anger will pass.<br />
Anger is but a piece of the only single emotion we know.... anger is on a downward scale.. the absence of love. Put away the rest and love will be in you alone.

I hope alls well w u lou. Miss hearing from u n ur thoughts on my writing